smoking is a major source of serious illness and death throughout the world today.In the interest of public health ,government should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products .Do you agree or disagree

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Today, in many parts of the universe
cigarettes
are known as a major source of deadly sickness. Many
people
believe that it is the government's responsibility to prohibit the usage of
tobacco
products
.
This
essay disagrees that
cigarettes
and
tobacco
products
are the main reasons for illness.
This
forbidden not only increases the rate of smuggling but
also
in the presence of
carbon
footprints
this
work might not be effective. On the one hand, if the usage of
cigarettes
and
tobacco
is banned by some politicians to help society's
health
condition,
this
act would increase the rate of smuggling. By reducing in number of companies that produce
tobacco
products
, finding standard
products
which are less dangerous for public
health
will be difficult. So, the path for smugglers is provided to bring non-standard
products
to the country some of them do not contain a real leaf of
tobacco
.
As a consequence
,
people
who use these
products
are positioned at great risk of death.
For instance
, in 2008 in Iran, over 250
people
were poisoned by
cigarettes
which were transported illegally because of the probation of politicians.
On the other hand
, having some strict regulations for not using
cigarettes
is not enough
while
most
people
's lives are surrendered by
carbon
dioxide. The vast majority of cities around the world are producing huge tonnes of
carbon
dioxide yearly because of burning fossil fuels and the amount of emission
that is
produced is not comparable to other
tobacco
products
. So,
people
breathe a lot of
carbon
every day unconsciously which can cause serious
health
issues for individuals.
As a result
, cutting the usage of
tobacco
is not comparable to
carbon
emission and has less effect on
people
's
health
conditions.
For example
, the
people
of Turkey smoke more than Iranian but the rate of cancer in Iran is higher than in Turkey because of heavy emissions in Iran. In conclusion, there is a belief that to reduce serious
health
problems governments should reduce the number of
cigarettes
which are smoked by persons.
This
essay disagrees because
carbon
emission has more effect on an individual's
health
conditions rather than
tobacco
.
Also
,
this
act could increase the amount of smuggling in countries.
Submitted by ramtin.n1374 on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the issue, which is commendable. However, to strengthen your argument, consider exploring a broader range of arguments for both sides of the issue. This will demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding.
coherence cohesion
Using varied linking phrases and paragraphing to structure your essay has helped with its readability. To further improve, you might consider varying your sentence structures to add complexity and flow.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant, but expanding on them or including more substantial evidence could provide stronger support for your claims. Aim to include data, studies, or more detailed scenarios where possible.
coherence cohesion
You've effectively maintained a clear position throughout your essay, contributing to a coherent argument.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points and restates your position, effectively closing the essay.
task achievement
The use of real-world examples, like the situation in Iran, adds credibility and interest to your argument.

Your opinion

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