smoking is a major source of serious illness and death throughout the world today.In the interest of public health ,government should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products .Do you agree or disagree
Today, in many parts of the universe
cigarettes
are known as a major source of deadly sickness. Many people
believe that it is the government's responsibility to prohibit the usage of tobacco
products
. This
essay disagrees that cigarettes
and tobacco
products
are the main reasons for illness. This
forbidden not only increases the rate of smuggling but also
in the presence of carbon
footprints this
work might not be effective.
On the one hand, if the usage of cigarettes
and tobacco
is banned by some politicians to help society's health
condition, this
act would increase the rate of smuggling. By reducing in number of companies that produce tobacco
products
, finding standard products
which are less dangerous for public health
will be difficult. So, the path for smugglers is provided to bring non-standard products
to the country some of them do not contain a real leaf of tobacco
. As a consequence
, people
who use these products
are positioned at great risk of death. For instance
, in 2008 in Iran, over 250 people
were poisoned by cigarettes
which were transported illegally because of the probation of politicians.
On the other hand
, having some strict regulations for not using cigarettes
is not enough while
most people
's lives are surrendered by carbon
dioxide. The vast majority of cities around the world are producing huge tonnes of carbon
dioxide yearly because of burning fossil fuels and the amount of emission that is
produced is not comparable to other tobacco
products
. So, people
breathe a lot of carbon
every day unconsciously which can cause serious health
issues for individuals. As a result
, cutting the usage of tobacco
is not comparable to carbon
emission and has less effect on people
's health
conditions. For example
, the people
of Turkey smoke more than Iranian but the rate of cancer in Iran is higher than in Turkey because of heavy emissions in Iran.
In conclusion, there is a belief that to reduce serious health
problems governments should reduce the number of cigarettes
which are smoked by persons. This
essay disagrees because carbon
emission has more effect on an individual's health
conditions rather than tobacco
. Also
, this
act could increase the amount of smuggling in countries.Submitted by ramtin.n1374 on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the issue, which is commendable. However, to strengthen your argument, consider exploring a broader range of arguments for both sides of the issue. This will demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding.
coherence cohesion
Using varied linking phrases and paragraphing to structure your essay has helped with its readability. To further improve, you might consider varying your sentence structures to add complexity and flow.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant, but expanding on them or including more substantial evidence could provide stronger support for your claims. Aim to include data, studies, or more detailed scenarios where possible.
coherence cohesion
You've effectively maintained a clear position throughout your essay, contributing to a coherent argument.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points and restates your position, effectively closing the essay.
task achievement
The use of real-world examples, like the situation in Iran, adds credibility and interest to your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?