IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows how many minutes Britons spent making local, national, and international fixed line calls between 1995 and 2002.

The graph shows how many minutes Britons spent making local, national, and international fixed line calls between 1995 and 2002.
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of
minutes
Use synonyms
 who used phone calls in three kinds
such
Linking Words
 as home town, fundamental line and overseas in the United Kingdom between 1995 and 2002. the general overview here is that, over the period, there was a significant increase in the phone call group of Local-fixed line,
However
Linking Words
, the proportion of mobiles was advancing a few in the phone group.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, in 1995, the telephone group between regional and laboured, it was essential to the first note that the number of communities was elite at 90
minutes
Use synonyms
,
However
Linking Words
, from 1995 to 2002, the rate of international significance increased from 39 to 32
minutes
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, from 1995 to 2002, the mobiles
were increase
Change the verb form
were increased
were increasing
show examples
 dramatically from 5 to 45
minutes
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words minutes with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: