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Band 6

Some people think that there should be some strict controls about noise. Others think that they could just make as much noise as they want. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #controls #noise
One
 school of thought holds that strict rules about
noise
 should be implemented,
whereas
 others believe that they can make
noise
 freely as a better option.
This
 essay attempts to shed light on both perspectives before concluding that I am in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of the former notion. On the
one
 hand,
people
 have a preference to make
noise
 stem from various reasons. First and foremost, they feel more comfortable generating sounds
while
 entertaining or working. Turning to the volume music louder,
for instance
, through the catching tune and lyrics from songs could make them feel happy and ease their mind during the day, regardless of their colleagues or
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
.
Secondly
, mentioning about the
noise
 in urban areas is considered
one
 of the inevitable parts nowadays.
This
 is because of the excessive
noise
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vehicle engines and human activities that make cities more busier and more crowded.
That is
 to say, citizens feel that there are no particular reasons to deaden it.
On the other hand
, there are a host of compelling reasons as to why I am convinced that it is more beneficial to impose some laws about
noise
 control.
One
 reason is that
noise
 pollution could have a negative impact on
people
's health.
In other words
,
people
 could hardly get adequate sleep if there were noisy sounds nearby, thereby,
occuring
Correct your spelling
occurring
 frequently could lead to a deterioration in their
overall
 health
such
 as suffering from sleep disorders or mental illness. Another reason is that the productivity in work could be reduced seriously
due to
 the intrusive
noise
. Taking a prime example, Le Thanh Tong students in Ho Chi Minh City often find it hard to concentrate on their studies
due to
 the disturbance of the construction site nearby.
As a result
,
people
 stand a great chance of not getting the demands of the tasks effectively. In conclusion,
while
 it is irrefutable that
people
 have the freedom to make
noise
, I would contend that the government should impose some laws to mitigate the loud
noise
 which could negatively affect
people
's health
as well as
 their productivity in jobs.
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coherence cohesion
The essay should be more explicitly divided into paragraphs to help the reader follow the logical progression of ideas. Consistent use of linking words and phrases will also enhance cohesion.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on key points for more comprehensive ideas, and ensure that all examples are directly linked to the main idea being discussed. This will make your arguments stronger and clearer.
general
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the discussion.
task achievement
Both views are discussed objectively and the writer’s opinion is clearly stated.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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