The internet and television are giving more opportunities for the average person to become famous. Is it a positive or negative development?

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Talking
to
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about
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this
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issue of whether
people
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are giving more opportunities for the average person to become famous or not is a controversial one. It is an indisputable fact that the
internet
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or television could make
people
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more discoverable,
for instance
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,
internet
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influencer
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influencers
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, basketball
player
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players
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, news, etc.
However
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, there are some serious issues with
these
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this
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advanced
internet
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or media
environment
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environments
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, the following essay will illustrate the two
of
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apply
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principal reasons that I personally think
it
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apply
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is
positive
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a positive
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development. Most important of all, the development of
the
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apply
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social media
becomes
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has become
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more popular so that every single person
could
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can
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use
own
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their own
his own
her own
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account to post everything they
want
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wants
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, and they
could
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can
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be seen by
general
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the general
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public
in
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apply
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worldwide. A lot of
people
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which are aged 23 to 28 earn competitive profit through the
internet
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platform, once it gets viral,
then
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journalists
would
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apply
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start trying to contact
for
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them for
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interviewing
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interviews
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and broadcast on
tv
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TV
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.
Secondly
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, for basketball
player
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players
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in
NBA
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the NBA
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, before we
have
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had
show examples
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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, most
people
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could not even watch the season highlights. But now, we do, so it makes some players more famous through the TOP highlights because more
people
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could know them and see their effort or well playing.
However
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, there are some problems with
this
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,
for example
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, if you are
the
Correct article usage
a
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celebrity or you just become famous, the whole world would start to amplify your
behaviors
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behaviours
show examples
and you would miss the days
that
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when
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there
is
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was
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no one chasing after you
just
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and just
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want to catch scandals, especially paparazzi.
To sum up
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, I personally think the development of the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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and television could make more opportunities for the average person to become
well- known
Correct your spelling
well-known
show examples
, yet everything has two opposite sides.
Submitted by eddie910208 on

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task achievement
Ensure your essay answers all parts of the question comprehensively. While you provided a clear opinion, some points could be more thoroughly explored.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the structure by making sure each paragraph flows smoothly from one idea to the next. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea or related set of ideas.
task achievement
Support your main points with more specific examples and elaborate on how these examples relate back to your main argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear start and end to your essay.
task achievement
You correctly identified both positive aspects and potential downsides of the development, which shows balanced thinking.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured with a clear opinion presented in the introduction.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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