As well as making money, businesses should also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people argue that companies put a high priority on generating profit nowadays.
While
I accept that this
perception is somewhat justifiable, I believe that others having public responsibilities are more important considerations rather than money
alone.
On the one hand, maximizing the company's profit could yield plenty of benefits for society. First and foremost, the more money
they made, the more taxes they had to pay to the government. Hence
, the government could ultilize
it to build hospitals, schools,... that provide comfort to residents. Correct your spelling
utilise
Secondly
, firms that make more money
can eventually expend it on businesses
expansion. To simplify, enterprises could have a chance to give more job opportunities for society to make ends meet. Change the noun form
business
Additionally
, this
acts as a precursor to a sustainable economy of one nation.
On the other hand
, there are a host of compelling reasons as to why I am convinced that conducting business in a socially responsible manner should be encouraged. One reason is that corporate
activities stem from the pollution in surrounding areas. Taking a prime example, the waste disposal system is not fully invested would put a strain on environmental degradation such
as air pollution or water pollution. Another reason is that enterprises should help those who are less fortunate since they have the money
to do so. Taking such
philanthropic actions not only help
them to have a better life but Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
also
could advertise the company in
some online platforms publicly.
In conclusion, Change preposition
on
while
it is irrefutable that making profits is of paramount importance to business, I would contend that they should also
take action in social responsibilities.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task achievement
Your introduction clearly lays out the two perspectives on the topic. However, you should elaborate more on why public responsibilities are important, not just state that it is a more important consideration.
task achievement
Some of your ideas are clear, but there is occasional ambiguity. For example, 'the waste disposal system is not fully invested' could be rephrased for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly connects to your main argument. Avoid inserting ideas abruptly, like 'corporate activities stem from pollution' should be better integrated into your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on your transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' are helpful but ensure smoother flow thereafter.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples to support your points, such as the role of taxes in providing public services.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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