Some people think that government should increase tax on unhealthy food to encourage people to start eating healthy. Do you agree or disagree.
Food
quality was, is, and should be one of the strategic goals of the government. There are several ways to improve it and taxation
increase is the easiest way to control Correct article usage
a taxation
an
unhealthy Remove the article
apply
food
consumption. This
is because if fast food
price increases one day, the number of consumers will definitely decrease and people
will start eating things that are more nutritious. It is the basic supply and demand economic law, which states "the more product costs, the less people
consume it". According to
an interview with McDonalds
top management, 50% of costs consist of taxes, so Change noun form
Mcdonald's
Mcdonalds'
it's
increase will undoubtedly decrease sales figures.
Correct your spelling
its
However
, healthy diet education and promotion videos on popular TV channels are alternative ways to switch focus
of a customer from overwhelming addictive salts, sugars and saturated fats. Not all Add an article
the focus
people
know the consequences of uncontrolled fast food
consumption. Common diseases that this
diet cause
are obesity, Change the form of the verb
causes
high-blood
pressure, and heart strokes; Correct your spelling
high blood
thus
, people
can be informed about it. Also
, professional experts in diet can come to radio stations and provide open lecture
. The younger generation, Fix the agreement mistake
lectures
in addition
, should be controlled both by parents and school management, for they cannot understand themselves
all the negatives that French fries Correct pronoun usage
apply
brings
to their immune system in future.
An increase in duties on unhealthy fruits and vegetables brings a quick win; Correct subject-verb agreement
bring
nevertheless
, this
step will not totally change Add an article
the behavior
behavior
of the consumer. Change the spelling
behaviour
People
’s massive education, therefore
, is the right solution that can bring real difference in a
society and usage of all available channels improves population knowledge about Remove the article
apply
this
topic.Submitted by mr.jailybaev on
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task achievement
You have provided a generally clear response to the task, addressing both sides of the argument. However, be more explicit in your stance whether you agree or disagree and try to reiterate it throughout your essay.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your points. For instance, consider referencing real-world instances where increased taxes on unhealthy foods have led to positive outcomes.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains one main idea that is clearly elaborated. Some points feel slightly underdeveloped or loosely connected.
coherence cohesion
Adding transition words and phrases will greatly improve the flow of your essay. This will make it easier for readers to follow your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which give a good frame to your argument.
coherence cohesion
You cover both taxation and educational measures, showing a balanced view.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.