Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a negative impact on children. Others believe the competitive environment encourages children to achieve. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #schools #impact #children #environment

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Certain

group

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groups

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argue that because of the heavy

competition

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in the

children

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’s educational institutions a negative impact is developing on the

students

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Whereas

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others believe that

this

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helps to achieve them better in life . In my

opinion

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opinion,

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Correct article usage

apply

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healthy

competition

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among

children

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is better for them

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apply

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because it increases their potential for studies .

This

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essay will discuss both the views

Firstly

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, the curriculum itself is tough nowadays for the

students

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to cope

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with.

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Moreover

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, extra pressure from different areas of

school

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the school

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, to put in another way , from different teachers , peers ,

sports

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the sports

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section and cultural sections.

As a result

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, the student will be

over burdened

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overburdened

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attending to all their needs . Because the

schools'

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schools

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need to maintain their reputation

overall

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. If the pupil is not capable enough to deal with these pressures , it can affect their studies and

eventually

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eventually,

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the mental strain leads to

phycological

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psychological

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issues .

For instance

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according to

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scientific

literatures

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literature

kinds of literature

pieces of literature

works of literature

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, stress disorders are common among

school

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schoolchildren

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children

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in the present generation .

On the other hand

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, a competitive spirit among

children

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can help to develop their capabilities .

For example

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,an

otherwise

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average student could perform better if he or she is exposed to healthy levels of

competition

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. Because

this

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develops an urge in the child’s mind to express his ego by performing better .

Such

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apply

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better performances in sports and cultural events by

otherwise

Linking Words

average

students

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In my opinion ,

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apply

show examples

healthy

competition

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

always improves the child’s ego to perform better in all aspects , a good example

for

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this

Linking Words

are

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the numerous coaching institutions for higher level exams in various parts of India and other nations , which yield promising results by encouraging

students

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to study with competitive

sprit

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spirit

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To conclude

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, though some support and others oppose

the

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apply

show examples

competitions

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competition

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in school ,

this

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essay argues that healthy

competitions

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competition

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are

Correct subject-verb agreement

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beneficial for

children

Use synonyms

. Because it helps them to perform better

Submitted by drcamt on Thu Jul 25 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses both views but does not fully develop or explain them. Focus on providing more detailed and comprehensive arguments for each point of view.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph is well-structured with clear topic sentences and logical progression of ideas. Use linking phrases to enhance coherence and cohesion between sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

Avoid repeating information and ensure examples are directly relevant and sufficiently developed. For example, elaborate more on how competition improves students' performance in specific situations.

coherence cohesion

Work on grammatical accuracy and sentence variety to make the writing more engaging. Proofread to catch minor grammatical and punctuation errors.

coherence cohesion

The essay clearly states the writer's opinion and summarizes it effectively in the conclusion.

task achievement

There is a clear effort to address both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the prompt.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

329 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

undue stress
academic achievement
critical thinking
interpersonal skills
unhealthy rivalries
social isolation
bullying
reduced collaboration
motivation
achieve their goals
resilience
perseverance
innovation
improvement
outperform
higher standards

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Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a negative impact on children. Others believe the competitive environment encourages children to achieve. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railway and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Is is often said that government spend too much money on project to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are more important. Do you agree or disagree?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think all university student should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative trend?