Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a negative impact on children. Others believe the competitive environment encourages children to achieve. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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Certain

group

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groups

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argue that because of the heavy

competition

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in the

children

Use synonyms

’s educational institutions a negative impact is developing on the

students

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Whereas

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others believe that

this

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helps to achieve them better in life . In my

opinion

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opinion,

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Correct article usage

apply

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healthy

competition

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among

children

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is better for them

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apply

show examples

because it increases their potential for studies .

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both the views

Firstly

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, the curriculum itself is tough nowadays for the

students

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to cope

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with.

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Moreover

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, extra pressure from different areas of

school

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the school

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, to put in another way , from different teachers , peers ,

sports

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the sports

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section and cultural sections.

As a result

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, the student will be

over burdened

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overburdened

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attending to all their needs . Because the

schools'

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schools

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need to maintain their reputation

overall

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. If the pupil is not capable enough to deal with these pressures , it can affect their studies and

eventually

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eventually,

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the mental strain leads to

phycological

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psychological

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issues .

For instance

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according to

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scientific

literatures

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literature

kinds of literature

pieces of literature

works of literature

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, stress disorders are common among

school

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schoolchildren

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children

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in the present generation .

On the other hand

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, a competitive spirit among

children

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can help to develop their capabilities .

For example

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,an

otherwise

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average student could perform better if he or she is exposed to healthy levels of

competition

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. Because

this

Linking Words

develops an urge in the child’s mind to express his ego by performing better .

Such

Linking Words

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apply

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better performances in sports and cultural events by

otherwise

Linking Words

average

students

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In my opinion ,

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

healthy

competition

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

always improves the child’s ego to perform better in all aspects , a good example

for

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show examples

this

Linking Words

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

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the numerous coaching institutions for higher level exams in various parts of India and other nations , which yield promising results by encouraging

students

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to study with competitive

sprit

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spirit

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To conclude

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, though some support and others oppose

the

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apply

show examples

competitions

Fix the agreement mistake

competition

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in school ,

this

Linking Words

essay argues that healthy

competitions

Fix the agreement mistake

competition

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are

Correct subject-verb agreement

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beneficial for

children

Use synonyms

. Because it helps them to perform better

drcamtThu Jul 25 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses both views but does not fully develop or explain them. Focus on providing more detailed and comprehensive arguments for each point of view.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph is well-structured with clear topic sentences and logical progression of ideas. Use linking phrases to enhance coherence and cohesion between sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

Avoid repeating information and ensure examples are directly relevant and sufficiently developed. For example, elaborate more on how competition improves students' performance in specific situations.

coherence cohesion

Work on grammatical accuracy and sentence variety to make the writing more engaging. Proofread to catch minor grammatical and punctuation errors.

coherence cohesion

The essay clearly states the writer's opinion and summarizes it effectively in the conclusion.

task achievement

There is a clear effort to address both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the prompt.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

329 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

undue stress
academic achievement
critical thinking
interpersonal skills
unhealthy rivalries
social isolation
bullying
reduced collaboration
motivation
achieve their goals
resilience
perseverance
innovation
improvement
outperform
higher standards

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Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a negative impact on children. Others believe the competitive environment encourages children to achieve. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scintific research, business and the academic world, others believe that some information is too important or to valuable to be shared freely.Discuss both this views and give your own opinion.

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Example 6: Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the punishment. Why are this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?