Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a negative impact on children. Others believe the competitive environment encourages children to achieve. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Certain
group
argue that because of the heavy Fix the agreement mistake
groups
competition
in the children
’s educational institutions a negative impact is developing on the students
. Whereas
others believe that this
helps to achieve them better in life . In my opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
a
healthy Correct article usage
apply
competition
among children
is better for them ,
because it increases their potential for studies . Remove the comma
apply
This
essay will discuss both the views
Firstly
, the curriculum itself is tough nowadays for the students
to cope .
Change preposition
with.
Moreover
, extra pressure from different areas of school
, to put in another way , from different teachers , peers , Add an article
the school
sports
section and cultural sections. Add an article
the sports
As a result
, the student will be over burdened
attending to all their needs . Because the Correct your spelling
overburdened
schools'
need to maintain their reputation Change noun form
schools
overall
. If the pupil is not capable enough to deal with these pressures , it can affect their studies and eventually
the mental strain leads to Add a comma
eventually,
phycological
issues . Correct your spelling
psychological
For instance
, according to
scientific literatures
, stress disorders are common among Change the wording
literature
kinds of literature
pieces of literature
works of literature
school
Correct your spelling
schoolchildren
children
in the present generation .
On the other hand
, a competitive spirit among children
can help to develop their capabilities .For example
,an otherwise
average student could perform better if he or she is exposed to healthy levels of competition
. Because this
develops an urge in the child’s mind to express his ego by performing better .Such
as,
better performances in sports and cultural events by Remove the comma
apply
otherwise
average students
In my opinion , a
healthy Correct article usage
apply
competition
,
always improves the child’s ego to perform better in all aspects , a good example Remove the comma
apply
for
Change preposition
of
this
are
the numerous coaching institutions for higher level exams in various parts of India and other nations , which yield promising results by encouraging Correct subject-verb agreement
is
students
to study with competitive sprit
Correct your spelling
spirit
To conclude
, though some support and others oppose the
Correct article usage
apply
competitions
in school , Fix the agreement mistake
competition
this
essay argues that healthy competitions
Fix the agreement mistake
competition
are
beneficial for Correct subject-verb agreement
is
children
. Because it helps them to perform betterSubmitted by drcamt on
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task achievement
The essay addresses both views but does not fully develop or explain them. Focus on providing more detailed and comprehensive arguments for each point of view.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph is well-structured with clear topic sentences and logical progression of ideas. Use linking phrases to enhance coherence and cohesion between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Avoid repeating information and ensure examples are directly relevant and sufficiently developed. For example, elaborate more on how competition improves students' performance in specific situations.
coherence cohesion
Work on grammatical accuracy and sentence variety to make the writing more engaging. Proofread to catch minor grammatical and punctuation errors.
coherence cohesion
The essay clearly states the writer's opinion and summarizes it effectively in the conclusion.
task achievement
There is a clear effort to address both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the prompt.