Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a negative impact on children. Others believe the competitive environment encourages children to achieve. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #schools #impact #children #environment

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Certain

group

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groups

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argue that because of the heavy

competition

in the

children

’s educational institutions a negative impact is developing on the

students

Whereas

others believe that

this

helps to achieve them better in life . In my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

healthy

competition

among

children

is better for them

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because it increases their potential for studies .

This

essay will discuss both the views

Firstly

, the curriculum itself is tough nowadays for the

students

to cope

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with.

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Moreover

, extra pressure from different areas of

school

Add an article

the school

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, to put in another way , from different teachers , peers ,

sports

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the sports

show examples

section and cultural sections.

As a result

, the student will be

over burdened

Correct your spelling

overburdened

show examples

attending to all their needs . Because the

schools'

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schools

show examples

need to maintain their reputation

overall

. If the pupil is not capable enough to deal with these pressures , it can affect their studies and

eventually

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eventually,

show examples

the mental strain leads to

phycological

Correct your spelling

psychological

show examples

issues .

For instance

according to

scientific

literatures

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literature

kinds of literature

pieces of literature

works of literature

show examples

, stress disorders are common among

school

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schoolchildren

show examples

children

in the present generation .

On the other hand

, a competitive spirit among

children

can help to develop their capabilities .

For example

,an

otherwise

average student could perform better if he or she is exposed to healthy levels of

competition

. Because

this

develops an urge in the child’s mind to express his ego by performing better .

Such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

better performances in sports and cultural events by

otherwise

average

students

In my opinion ,

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

healthy

competition

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

always improves the child’s ego to perform better in all aspects , a good example

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

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the numerous coaching institutions for higher level exams in various parts of India and other nations , which yield promising results by encouraging

students

to study with competitive

sprit

Correct your spelling

spirit

show examples

To conclude

, though some support and others oppose

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

competitions

Fix the agreement mistake

competition

show examples

in school ,

this

essay argues that healthy

competitions

Fix the agreement mistake

competition

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

beneficial for

children

. Because it helps them to perform better

Submitted by drcamt on Thu Jul 25 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses both views but does not fully develop or explain them. Focus on providing more detailed and comprehensive arguments for each point of view.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph is well-structured with clear topic sentences and logical progression of ideas. Use linking phrases to enhance coherence and cohesion between sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

Avoid repeating information and ensure examples are directly relevant and sufficiently developed. For example, elaborate more on how competition improves students' performance in specific situations.

coherence cohesion

Work on grammatical accuracy and sentence variety to make the writing more engaging. Proofread to catch minor grammatical and punctuation errors.

coherence cohesion

The essay clearly states the writer's opinion and summarizes it effectively in the conclusion.

task achievement

There is a clear effort to address both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the prompt.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

329 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

undue stress
academic achievement
critical thinking
interpersonal skills
unhealthy rivalries
social isolation
bullying
reduced collaboration
motivation
achieve their goals
resilience
perseverance
innovation
improvement
outperform
higher standards

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Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a negative impact on children. Others believe the competitive environment encourages children to achieve. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. Do you agree or disagree?

In many large cities, people waste hours of their time every day because of traffic congestions on the road. hat are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Nowadays some people post offensive or uncomfortable things on social media. Do you think social companies should do somethings to prevent this? what do you think people should not be allowed to post on social media?

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries around the world , rural people are moving to cities ,so the population in the country side is decreasing Do you think it is a positive or a negative development