In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

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Nowadays,despite reducing the rate of
crimes
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, there is still high anxiety among
people
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that they feel insecure.
This
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essay will explore the reasons for
this
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issue and provide a suggestion to resolve
this
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problem.
First,
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the major reason for
this
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unsavety feeling is
people
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cannot trust each other anymore
due to
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social problems in society. To be specific, the contemporary system forces individuals to compete, which results in a loss in the reliability of
people
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.
For example
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, unfortunately, if an employee tells a lie to his
managers
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manager
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, he or she may get a promotion.
Also
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, the life quality decreased
due to
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economic issues in many countries.
this
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may lead to serious moral problems. So, burglary is not eradicated in many countries ,
as well as
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, in the USA .
Secondly
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, another cause of
this
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problem is less effective law
systems
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to punish
guiltyies
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guilty
and protect innocent persons.
This
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uncertainty of laws may result in many questions in the minds of
people
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about the quality of judgment
systems
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.
For instance
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, some
people
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who attempt to
crimes
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are still outside and others are less punished which raises anxiety in the public. To address
this
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issue, I would recommend
strengtheninjudgment
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strengthen judgment
systems
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and well overseed bureaucracy to prevent immoral actions in society. If
people
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want to commit bad actions, these precautions may stop them. In conclusion,
although
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the number of serious
crimes
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diminished,
people
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do not feel secure because of lower trust among individuals and uncertainty of law
systems
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. To mitigate
this
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, ensuring effective judgment
systems
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is vital , dedications of
people
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has
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have
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a significant impact to prevent the devastating outcomes of
crimes
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.
Submitted by Yasar Khan on

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grammar
Try to proofread your essay to avoid minor typos and grammatical issues. For instance, replace 'unsavety feeling' with 'feeling of insecurity.'
examples
Add more specific and varied examples to strengthen your main points. For example, besides mentioning the USA, you could showcase other countries or statistics.
clarity
Expand on your ideas a bit more thoroughly to ensure clarity and comprehensiveness. Avoid brief mentions; develop your points with additional explanations or examples.
cohesion
Improve the logical structure by using cohesive devices more effectively. Link your paragraphs and ideas with phrases like 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' or 'Furthermore,' to enhance the flow.
task
Your essay adequately covers the task requirements, addressing both causes and solutions.
structure
Good presence of introduction and conclusion, which bookend your essay nicely.
examples
You provided relevant examples, such as the employee lying to get a promotion and economic issues leading to moral decline.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • availability heuristic
  • media coverage
  • misinformation
  • urbanization
  • community cohesion
  • justice system
  • economic inequality
  • community policing
  • media literacy
  • surveillance
  • swift justice
  • social cohesion
  • neighborhood watch
  • deterrent
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