In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?
Nowadays,despite reducing the rate of
crimes
, there is still high anxiety among people
that they feel insecure. This
essay will explore the reasons for this
issue and provide a suggestion to resolve this
problem.
First,
the major reason for this
unsavety feeling is people
cannot trust each other anymore due to
social problems in society. To be specific, the contemporary system forces individuals to compete, which results in a loss in the reliability of people
. For example
, unfortunately, if an employee tells a lie to his managers
, he or she may get a promotion. Fix the agreement mistake
manager
Also
, the life quality decreased due to
economic issues in many countries. this
may lead to serious moral problems. So, burglary is not eradicated in many countries , as well as
, in the USA .
Secondly
, another cause of this
problem is less effective law systems
to punish guiltyies
and protect innocent persons. Correct your spelling
guilty
This
uncertainty of laws may result in many questions in the minds of people
about the quality of judgment systems
. For instance
, some people
who attempt to crimes
are still outside and others are less punished which raises anxiety in the public.
To address this
issue, I would recommend strengtheninjudgment
Correct your spelling
strengthen judgment
systems
and well overseed bureaucracy to prevent immoral actions in society. If people
want to commit bad actions, these precautions may stop them.
In conclusion, although
the number of serious crimes
diminished, people
do not feel secure because of lower trust among individuals and uncertainty of law systems
. To mitigate this
, ensuring effective judgment systems
is vital , dedications of people
has
a significant impact to prevent the devastating outcomes of Correct subject-verb agreement
have
crimes
.Submitted by Yasar Khan on
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grammar
Try to proofread your essay to avoid minor typos and grammatical issues. For instance, replace 'unsavety feeling' with 'feeling of insecurity.'
examples
Add more specific and varied examples to strengthen your main points. For example, besides mentioning the USA, you could showcase other countries or statistics.
clarity
Expand on your ideas a bit more thoroughly to ensure clarity and comprehensiveness. Avoid brief mentions; develop your points with additional explanations or examples.
cohesion
Improve the logical structure by using cohesive devices more effectively. Link your paragraphs and ideas with phrases like 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' or 'Furthermore,' to enhance the flow.
task
Your essay adequately covers the task requirements, addressing both causes and solutions.
structure
Good presence of introduction and conclusion, which bookend your essay nicely.
examples
You provided relevant examples, such as the employee lying to get a promotion and economic issues leading to moral decline.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.