IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. •In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? •Is this a positive or negative development

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It is considered that
technology
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 has changed the way of communication between human beings in the coming days.
This
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 essay will illustrate how
technology
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 has effects the relationships
as well as
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 positive and negative outcomes.
To begin
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 with,
technology
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 has made socialization easier for
people
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 to interact with around the world, they can communicate with a person living a thousand miles away
while
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 at the same time, it has reduced face-to-face interaction with each other.
However
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, the priorities of
people
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 have changed , they are only available to the person with whom they want to communicate because of
this
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, their social circle has been minimized leading to social isolation.
For example
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, one study has shown that children and parents, living in the same house, talk to each other using their phones in the USA.
Therefore
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,
technology
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 has demolished the feelings of affection, love and caring among
people
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.
besides
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 the dark side of
technology
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, it has made communication fast and reachable,
people
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 can share their daily life activities, thoughts, and moments with other family members , living at a long distance that makes their bond strong.Social media platforms
such
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 as WhatsApp, and Instagram have become
a
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apply
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powerful
tool
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tools
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 for connecting
people
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.
In addition
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 to personal relationships,
technology
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 has played a pivotal role in enhancing collaboration in work and education. They can share their ideas and skills.
Hence
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 the long-distance relationship, collaboration effortlessly and ability to connect globally are clear demonstrations of how
technology
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 has changed the way we connect to each other.
To sum up
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,
technology
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 has both positive and negative applications on connecting
people
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 but it has made it easier to access the desired person.

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Task Response
Your essay presents a complete response to the prompt, but aim to further balance your discussion between positive and negative points to show nuanced understanding.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use a wider range of connecting words and phrases to effectively guide the reader through your arguments.
Task Response
Include more relevant examples and evidence to thoroughly support your main points.
Task Response
The essay remains mostly focused on the topic, with relevant points on how technology affects relationships.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, which helps with readability.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global friendships
  • social media platforms
  • online communities
  • professional networks
  • virtual relationships
  • face-to-face interaction
  • social dynamics
  • long-distance relationships
  • video calls
  • instant messaging
  • geographical barriers
  • superficial connections
  • physical interaction
  • social skills
  • digital interactions
  • technological advancements
  • niche communities
  • specialized relationships
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