In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
It is certainly true that people from some nations do not play
sports
or do exercise classes but rather prefer to hire a personal fitness coach. This
is due to
the expertise support and advice from the trainer to follow a systematic approach to body
fitness. Nevertheless
, this
is considered a negative development as playing different sports
gives more benefits.
To begin
with, people nowadays very health alert. They want to be active and physically fit at older age. Since they are not experts and not aware of the tools and techniques which support them while
exercising, they choose a personal health trainer who provides a stagewise systematic plan which makes individuals more flexible and motivated. The presence of a coach takes care of any wrong posture or body
movement. As a result
, a person can see the desired result effectively. For example
, many celebrities always select the best personal trainer to make their life easy, and convenient for effective outcomes on the body
layout.
On the other hand
, keeping a dedicated instructor does not seem like a good decision. It costs a lot. After the pandemic, the trend has increased, however
, it will create a burden on financial planning. Moreover
, getting exposure to sports
or doing exercises with others is vital as it increases teamwork, and changes attitude and other social and behavioural skills. It has been often seen that a person who plays a variety of sports
outside has more weather exposure which supports him for body
fitness.
For instance
, as per research conducted by the University of Japan, more than 50 per cent of parents prefer to send their adult children to play various sports
.
In conclusion, it is obvious that having individual trainers a good choice for personal attention and advice, however
, not playing sports
has many negative effects which can impact the body
as well as
personal development.Submitted by ahv on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task effectively by discussing both reasons and the positive/negative aspects of hiring a personal fitness trainer. However, the development of your main points could be more comprehensive. Try to elaborate further on your examples, adding more detail and diversity.
For example, when mentioning celebrities, provide a specific case or delve deeper into the general trend and its implications.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is good overall with clear introductory and concluding paragraphs. However, be mindful of paragraph transitions. Adding more linking phrases between paragraphs could enhance the flow of your essay.
You could use phrases like 'Moreover,' 'In addition,' or 'Conversely' to improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are clear but could be supported better with specific examples and data. For instance, when discussing the social benefits of sports, you can provide examples of studies or articles in addition to the Japanese University study you mentioned.
This could make your arguments more persuasive and well-rounded.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the context for your discussion and outlines the main points.
coherence cohesion
You provided a clear conclusion that summarizes your essay well and relates back to your initial points.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and provides valid reasons as well as a clear opinion on the matter.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?