The restoration of old buildings in major cities around the world costs enormous amounts of money. This money would be better spent on providing new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The dilution of the funds, rendered by the authorities should be oriented in many aspects, considering the basic necessities of
people
as well as
the sustainability of the resources.The dilution of the funds, rendered by the authorities should be oriented in many aspects, considering the basic necessities of the people
as well as
the sustainability of resources. Conservation projects of the
historic structures need a significant proportion of the money spent by Correct article usage
apply
a
government, which they have to Correct article usage
the
borne
Change the form of the verb
bear
along with
the other expenses. Even though they are important, it is often argued that those funds can be used in
Change preposition
for
development
of residences for the Add an article
the development
people
and road systems. I totally disagree with that opinion due to
the reasons rationalized in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
, when looking at the ancient creations,they obviously depicts
the iconic identity of the nations. Change the verb form
depict
Similarly
,,
those are considered as the Change the punctuation
apply
world
heritages which are substantially respected and recognised by the whole world
.Hence
, once they are abolished due to
the uncertain negligence of the rulers,they will not be replaced by any substitute in the future. Therefore
, those properties are necessarily
to be saved Replace the adverb
necessary
in
the sake of Change preposition
for
our
future generations. Correct pronoun usage
apply
For example
, the world famous
constructions like Add a hyphen
world-famous
Taj
Mahal andCorrect article usage
the Taj
pizza's
tilting Capitalize word
Pizza's
tower
Capitalize word
Tower
and
are still available Correct word choice
apply
due to
the dedication of many individuals.
On the other hand
, the study of the
architecture, that has begun Correct article usage
apply
from
many centuries ago from today . Change preposition
apply
Thus
researching on those basic initiations have
given a gigantic opportunity for the students. So it is conspicuous that laying out plans to protect the past cultural proofs Correct subject-verb agreement
has
are
equally worth enough. Correct subject-verb agreement
is
For instance
, myriad of
examples Change preposition
apply
all
over the Change preposition
from all
world
, like pyramids, old
castles which Correct word choice
and old
belongs
to different centuries and Change the verb form
belong
also
well published
architectures like Mr Jeffrey Bawa's productions are included in many graduate Add a hyphen
well-published
curriculum
.
Fix the agreement mistake
curricula
In contrast
, many other people
may contend on
the notion that despite Change preposition
with
of
Change preposition
apply
splurring
the money on those past Correct your spelling
spurring
splurging
ininfrastructures
, priority should be paid Correct your spelling
infrastructures
in infrastructures
infrastructure
upon
those who are suffering from poverty. Change preposition
to
Although
it has a slight humanistic sense, the rulers have to consider both the present and the future of the citizens.
In conclusion, with regards to the value of the historic properties along with
the importancy
of saving them, investing Correct your spelling
importance
on
Change preposition
in
restoration
of those should be done Add an article
the restoration
similarly
with
the development plans.Change preposition
to
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task achievement
Your essay covers the topic well and provides a complete response, addressing the need to preserve historic buildings while also considering the necessity of new housing and road development. However, your ideas could be clearer and more comprehensively articulated. Some sentences are overly complex and could be simplified to improve understanding.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, there are areas where the flow of ideas could be smoother. Try to use more cohesive devices to link your points and ensure each paragraph transitions well to the next.
task achievement
You have included relevant and specific examples, which enhance your arguments. However, avoid repeating the mentions of examples like pyramids and castles; instead, introduce new instances to provide a broader range of evidence.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and present a well-rounded view of the essay topic.
supported main points
Your use of specific examples, such as the Taj Mahal and pizza's tilting tower, is effective in supporting your points.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example