IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

some people believe that rich countries should provide poorer countries with other types of help rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #countries #aid
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Many
people
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 argue that developed
countries
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 should make a concerted effort to provide
aid
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 to underdeveloped
countries
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.
While
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 economic assistance is crucial, I believe that if more
countries
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 help each other, more
people
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 can avoid suffering. On the one hand, rich
people
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 should help undeveloped
countries
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 with technology rather than financial
aid
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 because
people
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 in developed
countries
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 already live in economic affluence;
however
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,
people
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 in underdeveloped
countries
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 lack access to convenient facilities
such
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 as household appliances and refrigerators.
Therefore
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, large companies in wealthy
countries
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 can share technology to improve the standard of living for
people
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 in poor regions.
For example
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,
people
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 would have access to cleaner and safer public toilets, fulfilling a basic human need.
Furthermore
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, many
people
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 in underdeveloped
countries
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 suffer from diseases
due to
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 lack of access to medications, rather than fatal diseases. In
such
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 circumstances, wealthy
countries
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 should provide successful treatment methods and share knowledge about failed methods to prevent the same mistakes from being repeated.
For instance
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, patients would receive advanced treatment and learn about disease prevention before conditions worsen. Sharing medical expertise could be a crucial part of
aid
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 for the poorest regions. In conclusion, rich
countries
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 should provide technological
aid
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 and professional
knolwedge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 to help poorer
people
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. In
this
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 regard, there are
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 variety of
aid
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 that help undeveloped
countries
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 rather than financial
aid
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.
Submitted by kopopig on

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task achievement
Make sure to provide a clearer introduction that specifies the standpoint you will argue for or against. This will help to set the context for your essay better.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphs to separate ideas more clearly. Each paragraph should have a main idea that is developed throughout with supporting points and examples.
task achievement
You have presented a well-developed argument and backed your points with relevant examples, which provides strong support for your main ideas.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear presentation of ideas, and your writing flows well from one point to the next.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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