The aging population is good for business, the economy and society. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#population #business #economy #society

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In the modern era, many places worldwide are experiencing a rise in the number of elderly

people

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and some

people

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believe that

this

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phenomenon can be beneficial

while

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others have the opposite view.

This

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writer supports the idea of the advantage coming from an ageing population because of the high-quality workforce and more

job

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opportunities rather than the economic burden caused by old residents.

To begin

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with, it is vital to acknowledge that an old population can increase the quality of workers. An ageing community means that there are multiple old employees who are already equipped with vast knowledge and experience relating to the work;

therefore

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, execute the

job

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perfectly.

Moreover

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, these old labourers can share or teach the young generation about what they know, giving tips and tricks relating to the

job

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As a result

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, improving

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

productivity in general. Take educational systems in Vietnam as a contextual example, many former teachers supervise trainees in order to get them up to the standard to actually be in charge of their own classes.

However

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, some argue that the frequent appearance of old citizens can lead to an economic burden. They showed that

due to

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ageing, many elderly have to suffer from health problems,

unabling

Correct your spelling

enabling

them to continue working so retirement is inevitable. After retiring, these

people

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will live off

government's

Correct article usage

the government's

show examples

pensions and if there were too many citizens like that, it would be impossible for authorities to afford, resulting in a loss in the countries' finances.

This

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might seem like a valid argument, but since the elderly have contributed a lot to

build

Wrong verb form

building

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the nation's economy when they were young, spending on pensions will not have any effect on the financial situation. In my eyes, it must be considered that having an ageing population can create more

job

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opportunities. To be more specific, many retired residents have to deal with health issues so often that there will be an increase in the demand for healthcare services. A number of brand-new hospitals and nursing

centers

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centres

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will be built to cope with the current status, offering more career paths for youngsters.

For instance

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, Japan is currently ranking in first place with the highest rate of old

people

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and

this

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trend has allowed teenagers with more careers to choose from. In conclusion, an

aging

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ageing

show examples

nation can benefit from well-qualified workers and work opportunities

instead

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of the demerit of economic burden.

Hence

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this

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essay has given clear points to demonstrate the author's supportiveness to the statement of having elderly

people

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Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Tue May 28 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay would benefit from more precise structuring of the arguments. Make sure to develop each main point separately and support it with clear, detailed examples.

task achievement

Try to enhance your analysis on how the aging population could lead to more job opportunities. Expand on this argument with detailed examples and logical reasoning.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and appropriately summarize your main points, which helps to frame your argument well.

task achievement

Your ideas are clear and relevant to the topic, and you have provided specific examples to illustrate your points, such as the educational system in Vietnam.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

7.5

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

6.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

416 words

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The aging population is good for business, the economy and society. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Your opinion

as the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing more and more jobs. Describe some job positions that may be lost because of computers, and disciss at least one problem that may result

Some people think that governments should provide subsidies to farmers to produce cheap healthy food. Others think that governments should tax companies producing unhealthy foods. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access to software. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative developnment?

In the future, all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?