nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. do you think is a positive or a negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development

Today, some individuals

instead

of going to the doctor when they are sick, take drugs and do treatments on their own. In

this

essay I will give my viewpoints and the drawbacks outweigh the benefits.

Firstly

doctors

and

people

who

professional

Add a missing verb

are professional

show examples

in their skills can do their best with fewer errors.

For instance

doctors

know about a wide range of diseases and they have at least studied

around

Change preposition

for around

show examples

7 years with spent their internship about 2 years old so it is obvious they have more experience than individuals.

Secondly

, learning patients’ stories and history of illness is a very significant point that most

doctors

use

this

information,

therefore

it's good for

people

to trust their

doctors

rather than their own experiences.

on the other hand

, sick

people

find

easily

Change the word

easy

show examples

treatments to get fine as soon as possible, because making an appointment takes

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

however

, they should consider that if they take

Correct article usage

the

show examples

wrong medicine, their treatment circulation takes

ore

Correct your spelling

show examples

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

also

with some new issues,

besides

, some individuals have financial problems since they prefer to just throw money on their drugs without paying for reception. In a nutshell, I argue nowadays with a growing economy and inflation

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

people

should prioritize their health in every aspect of their lives even their money, and the government should pay expenditures of sick

people

too.

Submitted by safehiana on Tue May 28 2024

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task achievement

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which is commendable. However, try to elaborate on your points with more specific examples to make your argument stronger.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next. This can be improved through the use of transitional phrases and connecting sentences. Some of your ideas seemed a bit disjointed.

task achievement

While you have provided a response to the task, make sure that you balance your discussion of both benefits and drawbacks of alternative medicine before concluding your opinion on whether it is positive or negative development.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion which helps in keeping your essay structured.

task achievement

You attempted to provide specific examples to support your points.

task achievement

You clearly stated your opinion and supported it with arguments, which is a good practice in essay writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

222 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

alternative medicines
treatments
positive development
negative development
health problems
usual doctor
access
personalized approach
holistic well-being
lack of regulation
evidence-based research
proper medical treatment

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nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. do you think is a positive or a negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both these views!

Human activity has had a negative impact on planet and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others think actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both the views and give your opinion

With The Increasing Use And Development Of New Technology, Many Machine Are New Able To Do The Work Which People Used To Perform. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Automatic cars are advancing so fast in recent years. What are the reasons for this improvement? Is it true that the increase in automatic cars results in the decline of vehicle production?

tudents perform better in school when they are rewarded rather than punished. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Discuss both views and give your own opinion.