IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn news. However, others believe that they can learn news better through other media. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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While
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 there is an opinion that reading
newspapers
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 is the most effective way to collect
news
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, other people believe that
news
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 can be learnt through social media, being much better. I personally agree with the latter view. It must be recognized that technology has become more and more convenient for our lives, especially, collecting pieces of
news
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 through some media platform. First of all, learning
news
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 from online
newspapers
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 is sufficient for us wherever we want. Because we don’t need to keep the
newspapers
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 side by side everywhere,
while
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 we just need to use our smartphone to catch a
news
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 bulletin.
Moreover
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, we can access breaking
news
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 as soon as possible, cause writers upload the
news
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 regularly without having to go through the printing process like traditional
newspapers
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.
Finally
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, users have more chances to approach a wide range of
news
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 from the internet,
due to
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 the popularity of the internet, many people choose to upload the
news
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 to the internet, creating a variety field of
information
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. Online
newspapers
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 bring various benefits for users which can be useful for their personal life
However
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, supporters of
newspapers
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 often argue that the content of traditional
newspapers
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 is much more reliable than the online ones. Since traditional
newspapers
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 have to undergo numerous censorship processes before releasing to the market, it ensures high accuracy for each piece of
news
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. Meanwhile, digital
newspapers
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 can contain a large amount of inaccurate
information
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 that the readers can't realize, so it leads to incorrect awareness of the problem.
For instance
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, there are a lot of scandals spreading on social networks
such
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 as the death of a well-known celebrity. In conclusion,
although
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 electronic
newspapers
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 can bring incorrect
information
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 they are still a beneficial source for people thanks to their convenience, fast updating and wide range of
information
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.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea for improved clarity and coherence. For instance, combine related benefits of online news into a cohesive argument rather than listing separate points.
Task Response
Strengthen the support for your arguments with more specific examples and evidence. For example, provide detailed instances of how online news has been effective in delivering timely information, or cite studies comparing the reliability of newspaper versus online news.
Task Response
Try to fine-tune the language to be more academic and formal. Avoid casual phrases like 'wherever we want' and use 'wherever it is convenient' instead.
Coherence and Cohesion
Good introduction that clearly states both perspectives and presents your stance.
Task Response
Overall strong and comprehensive response to the task with clear ideas and logical points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the argument and reinstates your opinion in a clear manner.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • news coverage
  • perspectives
  • opinions
  • accessed
  • interactive
  • engaging
  • real-time
  • multimedia
  • combination
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