Over the last few decades, the media has promoted the image of young thin women as being ideal. what problem has this caused? what solution can you suggest to this issue?
Most influencers consider a petite
body
as a woman's fitness target, prompting teenagers
to become as thin as possible. This
misinformation leads to being unhealthy. One solution to that problem is to use celebrities
to influence them to have a more healthy way of life.
Teenagers
in this
modern era consider a petite body
as their main goal. Those considerations were also
pushed more by most women celebrities
. As a consequence
, it will become an obsession for the younger one. Most of them are cutting their daily intakes, hoping to gain their idol's shape. However
, cutting too many calories below normal people's standard is a sign of malnutrition. Malnutrition is a sign of people’s health not being in a good condition. Study shows that being thin is only prompting sicknesses such
as anorexia, low-level blood sugars, and malnutrition. Doctors agree that being thin is a sickness and could potentially endanger the human body
.
Experts already show in their studies that being thin is unhealthy. However
, most teenagers
did not hear that. One of the best solutions is to use the influencer's power to promote more healthy habits. Doctors should utilize celebrities
to show a good daily diet to young teenagers
. They also
should encourage teenage women to do exercises daily. To support those habits, idols should also
‘show’ the effect of being healthy like their body
goals. Nowadays, more and more health trend-setters are born to promote healthy life. Many of those women are using social media as their platforms. An influencer like Anya Geraldine sometimes shows their gym routine to her audiences. As a consequence
, it will affect her followers to do the same actions as their idols.
In general, being petite will only cause an unhealthy body
and its leading sickness. Using celebrities
is a solution to correct that.Submitted by arsyiiimuhammad061 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, make sure that each paragraph has a clear central idea. Although the essay is well-organized, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. Ensure that each argument is linked logically.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, the essay could benefit from more specific examples and evidence to support the points made. For instance, citing statistical data or research studies could strengthen the argument.
task achievement
To further develop clear and comprehensive ideas, the essay could include more diverse perspectives and counterarguments. This would show a deeper understanding of the topic and provide a more balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which provide a solid framework. This helps the reader understand the main points and arguments effectively.
task achievement
The task response is well-handled, with both the problem and the solution being discussed in a coherent manner. The essay stays on topic and addresses the issues as required.
task achievement
The use of a specific celebrity example, such as Anya Geraldine, adds a personal touch and makes the argument more relatable. This is a good strategy to engage the reader.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
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