Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

These days, a colonel number of people prefer to tackle their health issues with traditional and herbal
medicines
, and they highly fail to follow the specialist’s prescription. As far as I am concerned
this
method will bring about profound drawbacks. Ignoring clinician’s treatment and relying on traditional
medicines
to cure health issues would result in fundamental predicaments.
Firstly
, the effectiveness of these herbal
medicines
has not been proven yet.
That is
to say, they may not be as effective as pills so
this
can exacerbate the health status.
For example
, if a diabetic person is reluctant to use insulin and take herbal medication
instead
,
this
will inevitably lead to hyperglycemia and
initially
make his illness more complicated.
Moreover
, these herbal
medicines
may
develop
Verb problem
cause
show examples
adverse reactions. To clarify, they might result in allergic symptoms,
such
as irritation, erythema, and hyperpigmentation
due to
the unawareness of ordinary people. In spite of the fact that a specialist has sophisticated knowledge about adverse reactions or drug interactions in
medicines
.
On the other hand
, some argue that herbal
medicines
are based on natural resources compared to tablets which have chemical ingredients. To simplify, they believe non-chemical drugs will remain less harmful to our bodies.
That is
, they are of the opinion that chemical pills can be absolutely harmful to our liver and kidneys.
To conclude
, there are various plus points
as well as
downsides to
take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
traditional
medicines
rather than a clinician’s prescription.
although
chemical medications may have some negative effects, I am totally convinced that
doctors
Change noun form
doctors'
doctor's
show examples
prescriptions are more effective than herbal
medicines
.
Submitted by aradzandieh.dvm on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to have consistency in terminology. For instance, mixings terms such as 'specialist's prescription' and 'clinician's treatment' can be confusing. Use one term consistently to avoid ambiguity.
task achievement
Some sentences contain minor grammatical errors or awkward phrasing, such as 'colonel number of people' which should be 'considerable number of people'. Proofread to eliminate these errors.
task achievement
Enhance the clarity of your ideas by explaining the points more comprehensively. For instance, when discussing the potential harms of herbal medicines, providing specific examples or studies would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your position on the topic, which is good for framing the essay.
relevant specific examples
The essay discusses both sides of the argument, presenting a balanced view before reaching the conclusion.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion succinctly summarizes your point of view, effectively tying the essay together.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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