Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, a colonel number of people prefer to tackle their health issues with traditional and herbal
medicines
Use synonyms
, and they highly fail to follow the specialist’s prescription. As far as I am concerned
this
Linking Words
method will bring about profound drawbacks. Ignoring clinician’s treatment and relying on traditional
medicines
Use synonyms
to cure health issues would result in fundamental predicaments.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the effectiveness of these herbal
medicines
Use synonyms
has not been proven yet.
That is
Linking Words
to say, they may not be as effective as pills so
this
Linking Words
can exacerbate the health status.
For example
Linking Words
, if a diabetic person is reluctant to use insulin and take herbal medication
instead
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
will inevitably lead to hyperglycemia and
initially
Linking Words
make his illness more complicated.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these herbal
medicines
Use synonyms
may
develop
Verb problem
cause
show examples
adverse reactions. To clarify, they might result in allergic symptoms,
such
Linking Words
as irritation, erythema, and hyperpigmentation
due to
Linking Words
the unawareness of ordinary people. In spite of the fact that a specialist has sophisticated knowledge about adverse reactions or drug interactions in
medicines
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some argue that herbal
medicines
Use synonyms
are based on natural resources compared to tablets which have chemical ingredients. To simplify, they believe non-chemical drugs will remain less harmful to our bodies.
That is
Linking Words
, they are of the opinion that chemical pills can be absolutely harmful to our liver and kidneys.
To conclude
Linking Words
, there are various plus points
as well as
Linking Words
downsides to
take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
traditional
medicines
Use synonyms
rather than a clinician’s prescription.
although
Linking Words
chemical medications may have some negative effects, I am totally convinced that
doctors
Change noun form
doctors'
doctor's
show examples
prescriptions are more effective than herbal
medicines
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by aradzandieh.dvm on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Make sure to have consistency in terminology. For instance, mixings terms such as 'specialist's prescription' and 'clinician's treatment' can be confusing. Use one term consistently to avoid ambiguity.
task achievement
Some sentences contain minor grammatical errors or awkward phrasing, such as 'colonel number of people' which should be 'considerable number of people'. Proofread to eliminate these errors.
task achievement
Enhance the clarity of your ideas by explaining the points more comprehensively. For instance, when discussing the potential harms of herbal medicines, providing specific examples or studies would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your position on the topic, which is good for framing the essay.
relevant specific examples
The essay discusses both sides of the argument, presenting a balanced view before reaching the conclusion.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion succinctly summarizes your point of view, effectively tying the essay together.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: