The average age for individuals to give birth is increasing. Some people think that it will have negative impact on family and country. What is your opinion about this?

#age #individuals #birth #people #impact #country

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Nowadays, there is a noticeable increase in the number of births. There is an increase in the average

age

of citizens who give birth. Which makes

people

think there is a dark side to family and nation.

This

essay will discuss

this

issue and argue why it is

Change the article

apply

show examples

challenging to be a parent in older

age

. On the one hand, Older

parents

can be something hard and challenging for some.

To the

Change preposition

The

show examples

difference in the ages between

parents

and kids

raising

Verb problem

apply

show examples

will be a complicated mission.

For example

, there is a huge difference between the environment the

parents

were raised in and the present time.

In addition

, there is a study that says the awareness of

parents

in older

age

is better than young ages by 60%.

On the other hand

, Older

age

births can affect negatively families and nations.

Furthermore

, few

people

give their children a bad life experience in which they do not have any parental skills.

Also

, in considering their

age

they can have more health risks that forbid them from doing their parent's role.

Along with

the effects on the country, the population of

people

will decrease and so for future generations.

This

essay discussed the negative sides of increasing in average

age

of birth.

This

increase has an impact on families or the country at the same time.In my opinion, I think it is important to give birth in middle

age

to avoid health issues and raise children in a suitable environment. many

people

need more information about

this

issue .

Submitted by hanadi.alajmi92 on Tue May 28 2024

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task achievement

Try to expand on the points made in each paragraph to give a more thorough explanation. Providing more relevant examples will strengthen your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay would benefit from refining the logical structure of your arguments. Ensure each paragraph clearly develops one main idea and flows smoothly to the next.

coherence and cohesion

Proofreading your work can help catch minor errors in grammar and phrasing. Polishing these aspects will help the overall presentation of your ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your discussion well.

task achievement

The essay addresses the prompt and provides a focused discussion on the topic.

task achievement

You have identified both advantages and disadvantages of older age births which shows balanced thinking.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

average age
give birth
increasing
negative impact
advantages
challenges
effects
family
country
older parents
financial stability
maturity
life experience
health risks
parenting skills
intergenerational relationships
future generations

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The average age for individuals to give birth is increasing. Some people think that it will have negative impact on family and country. What is your opinion about this?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, people wear more western-style clothes (suits and jeans) than their traditional clothes. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

Many drinks and ready meals contain a lot of sugar, salt and other non healthy ingredients. Do you think governments should try and control this development? Give reasons for your answer.

Some people say that drug companies have a responsibility to spend money on researching medicines that will help people in poorer countries. Others say the main responsibility of drug companies is to make money. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty of exerciseand avoids stress.What should people do to stay healthy in your country? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.