IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The tendency for human beings to copy one another is shown in the popularity of fashion in clothes and other consumer goods. Do you agree or disagree?

#tendency #beings #copy #popularity #fashion #clothes #consumer #goods
The Tendency for Human Beings to Imitate
One
 Another in
Fashion
 and
Consumer
Goods
 The propensity for human beings to emulate
one
 another is vividly manifested in the widespread popularity of
fashion
 and various
consumer
 products. I unequivocally concur with
this
 assertion, as it is deeply rooted in human psychology and societal dynamics.
Firstly
, the phenomenon of social conformity significantly influences
consumer
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. Individuals frequently look to their peers for cues on how to dress, behave, and consume, driven by an intrinsic desire to fit in and gain social acceptance.
For instance
, when a particular clothing style gains popularity, it swiftly proliferates as people adopt it to align with prevailing trends and avoid social exclusion.
This
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 extends beyond
fashion
 to encompass a myriad of
consumer
goods
, including technology and home furnishings.
Furthermore
, the impact of media and celebrity endorsements is profound. Advertisements, social media, and public figures wield substantial influence over
consumer
 preferences. When a celebrity endorses a product or is seen sporting a specific brand, their admirers and followers are inclined to mimic their choices.
This
 imitation is not merely coincidental but rather a strategic outcome orchestrated by marketers to amplify sales and cultivate trends. The 'bandwagon effect' elucidates how individuals are more likely to engage in an activity if they observe others doing so, thereby perpetuating a cycle of replication.
Additionally
, economic factors contribute to
this
 imitative
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. Mass production and globalization have rendered
fashion
 and
consumer
goods
 more accessible and affordable. When popular items are produced on a large scale, they become available to a broader audience, facilitating widespread adoption.
This
 accessibility diminishes the uniqueness of any given item, prompting individuals to look to
one
 another for
fashion
 and purchasing decisions. In summation, the inclination for humans to imitate
one
 another is conspicuously evident in the popularity of
fashion
 and
consumer
goods
.
This
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 is propelled by social conformity, media influence, and economic accessibility. Understanding these dynamics offers valuable insights into
consumer
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 and the mechanisms that drive trends in contemporary society.
Submitted by hanyunxiao on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

example
Consider providing a more specific example in the second paragraph to further illustrate the idea of social conformity affecting trends beyond clothing, such as a trend in technology or home furnishings with a concrete instance.
development
Adding a counter-argument or acknowledging a potential opposing viewpoint could strengthen your argument and provide a more nuanced discussion.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are both very strong, clearly presenting your position and summarizing the main points effectively.
structure
The essay exhibits a clear and logical structure, with each paragraph addressing a different aspect of the central theme.
language
You successfully incorporated advanced vocabulary and varied sentence structures, which contributes to the essay's overall readability and engagement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: