Students easily access information online so libraries are no longer necessary. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

It is true that the trend of researching knowledge on social platforms is accelerated, resulting in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
decrease in the necessity of
libraries
. I wholeheartedly disagree with that statement
due to
several reasons. First and foremost,
libraries
can provide a peaceful atmosphere for learners to participate. When attending
such
polite and quiet places, students may find it an ideal area for them to try to finish the deadline, facilitating schoolers to improve studying efficiency.
For instance
, the number of people going to
libraries
for learning
Change preposition
to learn
show examples
and
finding
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
books because of the nostalgic feeling and non-disturbing spaces.
Secondly
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
variety of valuable books is contained in several bookstores which provide readers with seats or mini coffee shops. Many descendants argue that reading and enjoying a classical and worthwhile book could stimulate their excitement, which means that it would improve memorisation without difficulty. A simple example is the elderly professors who spent most of their time in
libraries
researching and planning projects in the past, which proves that the crucial role of
libraries
is inevitable. Notwithstanding, offspring assert that searching
information
Change preposition
for information
show examples
on the Internet could be more convenient and time-saving than travelling to a library, regardless of how incorrect that knowledge is.
However
, youngsters could gain life experience and relaxing feeling at the seat-available bookstores
instead
of staying at home alone with a computer. In conclusion, some believe that the young generation could prefer surfing the web to find information to participating in a library. In spite of their knowledgeable logic, I firmly =
comprehensively
Correct word choice
and comprehensively
show examples
=conscientiously disagree with that assertion because of the chilling space and the excitement of reading valuable books.
Submitted by alicema0503 on

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task achievement
While the ideas presented are clear, some statements require further elaboration and specific examples to fully support your arguments. For instance, mention specific studies or quotes from experts that highlight the significance of libraries.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically flows from one point to another. For instance, link the concept of a peaceful atmosphere to how this directly affects students' productivity more explicitly.
linguistic accuracy
There are minor grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasings that can be corrected to improve readability. For example, changing 'schoolers' to 'students' is more appropriate.
task achievement
Rephrase the conclusion for better coherence and to avoid repetition. For example, 'I firmly disagree with the notion that libraries are no longer necessary because they offer a conducive environment and the invaluable excitement of reading physical books.'
task achievement
The essay stays on topic and addresses the prompt with a clear stance from the beginning.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively crafted to frame the argument and summarize the writer's perspective.

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessible information
  • online databases
  • e-books
  • educational websites
  • community centers
  • physical books
  • literacy programs
  • peer-reviewed resources
  • misleading information
  • digital divide
  • high-speed internet
  • underprivileged communities
  • custodians of culture
  • archival material
  • conducive environment
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