Some people believe that zoos have a positive impact on conservation efforts and education. Others argue that keeping animals in captivity is cruel and goes against their natural instincts. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Zoos
have
being
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been
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part of human culture for a long time.
However
, its
existance
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existence
currently
divide
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divides
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opinions.
While
part of the public
defend
Correct subject-verb agreement
defends
show examples
that
zoos
are beneficial to
conserve
Wrong verb form
conserving
show examples
and
study
Wrong verb form
studying
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different fauna
especies
Correct your spelling
species
, others believe that keeping
animals
confined and away from their natural ecosystem is an act of cruelty. In my opinion,
animals
should
leave
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live
show examples
in their natural habitats rather than in captivity, so
zoos
should be extinct. One of the most common leisure activities in many cultures
world-wide
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worldwide
show examples
is visiting
zoos
to learn about different
animals
or for the sake of pure
entreintement
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entertainment
. It is
also
a common school excursion for students to learn more about science
as well as
different species and their
biomas
Correct your spelling
biomass
biomes
. When visiting
zoos
,
for example
, children can observe wild
animals
and some
their
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of their
show examples
particular behaviours, consolidating theories learned in class throughout a lived experience.
Furthermore
, some of these establishments work on the conservation and rehabilitation of endangered creatures, which
bring
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brings
show examples
a positive factor to
zoos
and brings people in their
defense
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defence
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.
On the other hand
, living in
zoos
can be
a
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an
show examples
extremelly
Correct your spelling
extremely
stressful experience for
animals
simply because it is not their natural habitat. Species
such
as lions and monkeys are
naturals
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natural
show examples
from forests and are used to live in open territories.
However
, they can be found in almost every zoo around the globe.
Furthermore
, too many visitors and a limited jail space add extra layers of harm
for
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to
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these innocent creatures.
This
ends up being an act of cruelty against
animals
.
Thus
,
Iin
Correct your spelling
In
my view,
zoos
should be
prohibeted
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prohibited
or
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
closed to the public, focusing only
in
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on
show examples
wildlife conservation, and recovery.
Also
, students can learn by watching videos online, rather than visiting
zoos
. In conclusion, even
tought
Correct your spelling
though
zoos
are an
entreitaning
Correct your spelling
entertaining
activity,
a
Correct word choice
and a
show examples
great opportunity for learning and conserving species, in my opinion, they should no longer exist or become
a
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an
show examples
animal conversation centre only.
This
is because it promotes animal cruelty when keeping creatures in jail or being observed for numerous passerbyes per day.
Submitted by betinhaa00 on

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Grammar
Revise the essay for grammar and spelling mistakes, such as 'being' instead of 'been' and 'entertainment' instead of 'entreintement'. Improving the grammatical accuracy will enhance readability.
Development
Try to further develop the main points with more specific examples and stronger support. This will enhance the task achievement score. For example, specify particular conservation programs that zoos contribute to, or give data on the psychological effects of captivity on animals.
Structure
Improve the logical structure of the essay by making clearer transitions between points. Adding transitional phrases will help guide the reader through the argument more smoothly.
Structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame the discussion well.
Balance
The author addresses both views on the issue, demonstrating a balanced approach before presenting their own opinion.
Understanding
The use of relevant points related to education and conservation shows a good understanding of the multiple functions of zoos.
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