Some people believe that zoos have a positive impact on conservation efforts and education. Others argue that keeping animals in captivity is cruel and goes against their natural instincts. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #zoos #impact #conservation #efforts #education #animals #captivity #instincts

Zoos

have

being

Change the verb form

been

show examples

part of human culture for a long time.

However

, its

existance

Correct your spelling

existence

currently

divide

Correct subject-verb agreement

divides

show examples

opinions.

While

part of the public

defend

Correct subject-verb agreement

defends

show examples

that

zoos

are beneficial to

conserve

Wrong verb form

conserving

show examples

and

study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

different fauna

especies

Correct your spelling

species

, others believe that keeping

animals

confined and away from their natural ecosystem is an act of cruelty. In my opinion,

animals

should

leave

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live

show examples

in their natural habitats rather than in captivity, so

zoos

should be extinct. One of the most common leisure activities in many cultures

world-wide

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worldwide

show examples

is visiting

zoos

to learn about different

animals

or for the sake of pure

entreintement

Correct your spelling

entertainment

. It is

also

a common school excursion for students to learn more about science

as well as

different species and their

biomas

Correct your spelling

biomass

biomes

. When visiting

zoos

for example

, children can observe wild

animals

and some

their

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of their

show examples

particular behaviours, consolidating theories learned in class throughout a lived experience.

Furthermore

, some of these establishments work on the conservation and rehabilitation of endangered creatures, which

bring

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brings

show examples

a positive factor to

zoos

and brings people in their

defense

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defence

show examples

On the other hand

, living in

zoos

can be

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show examples

extremelly

Correct your spelling

extremely

stressful experience for

animals

simply because it is not their natural habitat. Species

such

as lions and monkeys are

naturals

Fix the agreement mistake

natural

show examples

from forests and are used to live in open territories.

However

, they can be found in almost every zoo around the globe.

Furthermore

, too many visitors and a limited jail space add extra layers of harm

for

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these innocent creatures.

This

ends up being an act of cruelty against

animals

Thus

Iin

Correct your spelling

my view,

zoos

should be

prohibeted

Correct your spelling

prohibited

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

closed to the public, focusing only

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show examples

wildlife conservation, and recovery.

Also

, students can learn by watching videos online, rather than visiting

zoos

. In conclusion, even

tought

Correct your spelling

though

zoos

are an

entreitaning

Correct your spelling

entertaining

activity,

Correct word choice

and a

show examples

great opportunity for learning and conserving species, in my opinion, they should no longer exist or become

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show examples

animal conversation centre only.

This

is because it promotes animal cruelty when keeping creatures in jail or being observed for numerous passerbyes per day.

Submitted by betinhaa00 on Wed May 29 2024

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Grammar

Revise the essay for grammar and spelling mistakes, such as 'being' instead of 'been' and 'entertainment' instead of 'entreintement'. Improving the grammatical accuracy will enhance readability.

Development

Try to further develop the main points with more specific examples and stronger support. This will enhance the task achievement score. For example, specify particular conservation programs that zoos contribute to, or give data on the psychological effects of captivity on animals.

Structure

Improve the logical structure of the essay by making clearer transitions between points. Adding transitional phrases will help guide the reader through the argument more smoothly.

Structure

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame the discussion well.

Balance

The author addresses both views on the issue, demonstrating a balanced approach before presenting their own opinion.

Understanding

The use of relevant points related to education and conservation shows a good understanding of the multiple functions of zoos.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

335 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that zoos have a positive impact on conservation efforts and education. Others argue that keeping animals in captivity is cruel and goes against their natural instincts. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university, to work or to travel. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Zoos are inhumane and should be abolished. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

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