IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many scientific institutes conduct research on live animals. Some people regard it as cruel and unnecessary while others believe it is justified in the interest of human welfare. Discuss the two views and give your reasons. Give reason for your answer.

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Research
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 on live
animals
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 is conducted in many scientific institutes. It is considered by some that
research
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 is not important and merciless.
While
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 others think that it is vital to improve human life.
However
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, in my opinion,
research
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 and experiments on
animals
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 help to innovate treatment but it should be under strict conditions to protect these
animals
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. On the one hand. What makes people believe that
research
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 on
animals
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 which is life is cruel and unwarranted is that some experiments use savage ways to conduct without mercy ,causing them suffering, which could break
animals
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' rights.
For example
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, cosmetic experiments
such
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 as makeup and skincare products, can lead to serval irritation or even long-term injections. I believe that these tests can
also
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 lead to poisoning
animals
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.
Moreover
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, today, advanced technology become an alternative to
animals
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,
this
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 can use simulation systems to observe and investigate, which reduces the need for
animals
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.
On the other hand
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, doing
research
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 on live mammals is crucial to enhance human health.
In other words
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 , many scientists in the medical field innovate new medicines to eradicate dangerous diseases. which makes
this
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research
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 vital to improving health. One example of animal testing is developing vaccines, which should ensure safety before human use, and I agree that it is essential to protect people's lives. In conclusion, conducting animal tests is necessary for human health but should set rules to protect the
animals
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' lives and unbreak their rights. With the advancement in technology, scientific institutes could reduce the risk to animal's lives.

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task achievement
The task response is generally complete; both perspectives are covered with an opinion stated. However, include more specific examples or statistics to enhance your arguments and strengthen your position.
coherence cohesion
The coherence is consistent, and there is a logical flow from one point to the next. However, ensure clearer connections and transitions between sentences and paragraphs to make the essay smoother.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument effectively, demonstrating a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and clearly related to the essay's main topic.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion is effectively related to the main topic and mirrors the introduction well, providing a solid closure.
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