Topic: Some people believe that car-free days are effective ways to reduce air pollution. However, others argue that there are other ways that are more effective. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The topic regarding
car-free
days
to improve the quality of air
has been discuss
widely in public nowadays. Change the verb form
discussing
discussed
Nevertheless
, the opponents argue that,
it may not be an effective Remove the comma
apply
ways
to reduce Correct the article-noun agreement
way
air
pollution
. This
essay tried to present both views and added some personal opinion
on the topic.
In Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
this
growing technology world, there are more and more brands of cars invented and available for the
Correct article usage
apply
people
to choose and as a result
, it is believed to be that transportation, private own cars, is one of the biggest contributors to the
Correct article usage
apply
air
pollution
. Given that, some people
believe that if people
stopped
driving Wrong verb form
stop
the
cars, it will add many benefits to the atmosphere including but not Correct article usage
apply
limitted
to Correct your spelling
limited
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
air
quality which will eventually lower temperature
Correct article usage
the temperature
in
the environment.
Change preposition
of
However
, some disagree with the
point of Correct determiner usage
this
views
because they suggest that there should be a better option to reduce Fix the agreement mistake
view
air
pollution
. This
could be because accessibility is very crucial and a complete
Correct the article-noun agreement
complete car-free environments
a complete car-free environment
car-free
environments may bring some difficulties for people
to perform daily activities such
as going to the
schools or workplaces. In my perspective, an absolute Correct article usage
apply
car-free
days
may be Fix the agreement mistake
day
abit
extreme, given that it could bring some difficulties to our daily activities but it could bring many advantages Correct your spelling
a bit
therefore
, I think rather than promoting car-free
days
to reduce air
pollution
, we could encourage people
to use public transportation because there are more and more public commuting services that used green energy such
as solar energy and this
method will not be a problem for people
to perform daily activities.
In conclusion, it is a big question remained
Wrong verb form
remains
for
whether Change preposition
apply
car-free
days
will be the most effective methods
or Fix the agreement mistake
method
there
could be some Correct word choice
whether there
beffer
options that are more efficient Correct your spelling
buffer
better
to reduce
Change preposition
for reducing
air
pollution
.Submitted by asllchkied on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view on the topic and attempts to handle both sides of the argument, which is very important. However, it would benefit from more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your points. Try to include specific instances or data to make your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a logical structure, some parts could be more clearly connected. For instance, transitioning between discussing the pros and cons of car-free days and suggesting public transportation as an alternative could be smoother. Use connectors like 'on the other hand', 'in contrast', or similar phrases to improve the flow.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, the introduction does a decent job of setting up the topic, and there is a visible conclusion. However, the overall readability can be improved by varying sentence structures and avoiding repetition. Also, correcting some grammatical errors will help enhance the clarity.
task achievement
Your introduction and conclusion provide a clear framework for your essay, which is very important. It helps in giving the reader a comprehensive understanding of your viewpoint.
task achievement
You have successfully tackled both perspectives of the argument, which demonstrates your ability to discuss different viewpoints logically.
coherence cohesion
The essay shows that you have a reasonable range of vocabulary and an ability to construct arguments with some depth.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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