Topic: Some people believe that car-free days are effective ways to reduce air pollution. However, others argue that there are other ways that are more effective. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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The topic regarding
car-free
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days
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to improve the quality of
air
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has been
discuss
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discussing
discussed
show examples
widely in public nowadays.
Nevertheless
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, the opponents argue that
,
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apply
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it may not be an effective
ways
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way
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to reduce
air
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pollution
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.
This
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essay tried to present both views and added some personal
opinion
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opinions
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on the topic. In
this
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growing technology world, there are more and more brands of cars invented and available for
the
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apply
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people
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to choose and
as a result
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, it is believed to be that transportation, private own cars, is one of the biggest contributors to
the
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apply
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air
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pollution
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. Given that, some
people
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believe that if
people
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stopped
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stop
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driving
the
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apply
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cars, it will add many benefits to the atmosphere including but not
limitted
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limited
to
improve
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improving
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air
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quality which will eventually lower
temperature
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the temperature
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in
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of
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the environment.
However
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, some disagree with
the
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this
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point of
views
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view
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because they suggest that there should be a better option to reduce
air
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pollution
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.
This
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could be because accessibility is very crucial and
a complete
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complete car-free environments
a complete car-free environment
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car-free
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environments may bring some difficulties for
people
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to perform daily activities
such
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as going to
the
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apply
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schools or workplaces. In my perspective, an absolute
car-free
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days
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day
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may be
abit
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a bit
extreme, given that it could bring some difficulties to our daily activities but it could bring many advantages
therefore
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, I think rather than promoting
car-free
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days
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to reduce
air
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pollution
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, we could encourage
people
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to use public transportation because there are more and more public commuting services that used green energy
such
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as solar energy and
this
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method will not be a problem for
people
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to perform daily activities. In conclusion, it is a big question
remained
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remains
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for
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apply
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whether
car-free
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days
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will be the most effective
methods
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method
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or
there
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whether there
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could be some
beffer
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buffer
better
options that are more efficient
to reduce
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for reducing
show examples
air
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pollution
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.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view on the topic and attempts to handle both sides of the argument, which is very important. However, it would benefit from more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your points. Try to include specific instances or data to make your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a logical structure, some parts could be more clearly connected. For instance, transitioning between discussing the pros and cons of car-free days and suggesting public transportation as an alternative could be smoother. Use connectors like 'on the other hand', 'in contrast', or similar phrases to improve the flow.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, the introduction does a decent job of setting up the topic, and there is a visible conclusion. However, the overall readability can be improved by varying sentence structures and avoiding repetition. Also, correcting some grammatical errors will help enhance the clarity.
task achievement
Your introduction and conclusion provide a clear framework for your essay, which is very important. It helps in giving the reader a comprehensive understanding of your viewpoint.
task achievement
You have successfully tackled both perspectives of the argument, which demonstrates your ability to discuss different viewpoints logically.
coherence cohesion
The essay shows that you have a reasonable range of vocabulary and an ability to construct arguments with some depth.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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