Companies should provide sport and social facilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is considered whether the large companies should promote local residents by giving them sports and social infrastructure or not.

This

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writer holds a belief that

this

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is one of the most effective ways to enhance individuals' strength and

also

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improve the quality of labour resources nowadays.

To begin

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with, providing sports facilities fosters a sense of support in strengthening people's well-being, which allows them to work continuously for a long-term period, increasing the health standard of labour resources. To explain

this

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point, by offering equal physical opportunities, exercise is seen as a virtual activity in their daily routines.

For example

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, after work, individuals would spend more than one hour engaging in physical activity that supports releasing endorphins

instead

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of playing games or surfing the Internet. These changes would make them inducing pleasure and motivation for their life, and

also

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provide them with a sense of belonging.

Consequently

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, involving in exercising promotes a healthier, more balanced lifestyle, which, in turn, can lead to increased productivity and job satisfaction.

Besides

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, being given available infrastructures reduces the exorbitant cost of those, saving a huge range of money for other activities. To clarify

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idea, it should be noticed that there are lots of people who must pay a fortune to take part in the gym or yoga to improve their physical strength.

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, with

this

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strategy, they have an opportunity to enjoy those services without spending cash on them.

In addition

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, the remaining money could be used for other purposes

such

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as shopping, renovating accommodation or education, developing their quality of life, and ensuring effective outcomes in working. In conclusion, it should be acknowledged that

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apply

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offering sport for local communities is entirely cost-effective, advancing the mental fitness of employees to support them in working.

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, it

also

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enhances the standard of health.

[email protected]Wed May 29 2024

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task achievement

While your essay effectively addresses the prompt and provides clear and comprehensive ideas, consider adding more specific examples to support your points. For example, you could mention specific companies that have successfully implemented such initiatives and the positive outcomes they experienced. This would provide concrete evidence to back up your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is generally well-structured and coherent, but there are a few awkward phrasings and minor grammatical errors that can disrupt the flow. Consider revisiting sentences like 'exercise is seen as a virtual activity in their daily routines' for clarity. Also, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and that transitions between ideas are smooth.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction is clear and provides a strong thesis statement, effectively setting up the essay. This helps the reader understand the main argument from the outset.

logical structure

You have a logical and cohesive structure throughout the essay. Each paragraph deals with a specific point and contributes to the overall argument, making it easy for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.

supported main points

The essay includes relevant and specific examples to support your main points. This strengthens your arguments and demonstrates your understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

community well-being
corporate social responsibility (CSR)
healthcare costs
public image
customer loyalty
economic growth
community relations
job satisfaction
balanced lifestyle
stimulate local economy

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Companies should provide sport and social facilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

People should be atleast 21 years old before they are allowed to drive a car. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Scientists predict in the near future, car will be driven by computers, not people. Why? Do you think it is a positive or negative development

Animals are in danger of extinctions. Some people say we should protect only those animal which are useful to humans. Do you agree or disagree ?

Q. As the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing more and more jobs. Describe some job positions that may be lost because of computers, and discuss at least one problem that may result.