It is more important for school children to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#school #children #history #world

It is more vital for vocational youngsters to absorb about regional past than earth times past. From my point of view, I partly agree with

this

view. On the one hand, approaching local antiquity helps people better understand the origins of the country.

Besides

, it allows

resident

Fix the agreement mistake

residents

show examples

to see the gratitude for protecting the country that previous generations of ancestors left behind.

Moreover

, it helps citizens clearly see where the cultural identity and customs of the region come from.

For example

, we can send gratitude to the martyrs who sacrificed their lives in war to have the current peaceful nation.

In addition

, when learning area

history

community

Add an article

the community

a community

show examples

can preserve and propagate their cultural identity and customs to international friends.

On the other hand

, you should not only study the

history

of one region but

also

learn

globe

Replace the word

global

show examples

history

to expand your understanding of human olden times.

Furthermore

, planet

history

broadens people's understanding and understanding of past and present situations in the world, helping nationality grasp information more quickly and accurately. To

sump

Correct your spelling

sum

show examples

up, learning local

history

helps

population

Correct article usage

the population

show examples

better understand the origins of their country or themselves.

However

, the world's

history

cannot be ignored because it makes

populace

Correct article usage

the populace

show examples

around the globe understand each other and join hands for the common good of the world.

Submitted by quynhtranhbh on Wed May 29 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. Organize your ideas into well-defined paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point. This will make your writing easier to follow.

coherence cohesion

For a stronger introduction and conclusion, clearly state your position on the topic in the introduction and summarize your main points in the conclusion. This will give your essay a more polished and complete feel.

coherence cohesion

Work on sentence variety and clarity. Some of your sentences are awkwardly phrased or unclear. Reading your essay out loud can help identify areas that need improvement.

task achievement

Make sure that your response fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Although you have acknowledged both sides of the argument, try to balance the discussion and provide more development for each point.

task achievement

Develop your ideas more comprehensively. Provide more detailed explanations and specific examples to support your points. This will enhance the clarity and depth of your argument.

task achievement

Your essay does a good job of addressing both sides of the argument. You have acknowledged the importance of both local history and world history.

task achievement

You have included relevant points about the benefits of learning local history, such as understanding cultural identity and customs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

214 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is more important for school children to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

While recruiting a new employee, the employer should pay more attantion to their personal qualities, rather than qualifications and experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?