IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some believe that thge development of technology and improved software allow us to translate between languages automatically . Therefore , it is not necessary to learn a foreign language any more . Do you agree or disagree?

#believe #thge #development #technology #software #languages #language
When it comes to
language
, it is thought to use modern devices to translate
languages
instead
 of learning new ones. The writer of
this
 essay totally disagrees with
this
 statement as foreign
languages
 not only help individuals gain opportunities for jobs but
also
 help them access global development. Offering many chances for future jobs is
one
 of the reasons why individuals should learn other
languages
. Simply put, if
one
 knows lots of
languages
, it can be an impressive factor in the applications which are used for positions in a company.
This
 is because some companies can have some international contracts with other foreign ones so the ability to know more than
one
language
 is
one
 of the biggest demands in interviewing requires.
For example
, Samsung company has cooperated with foreign countries in order to advertise their products,
this
 situation leads to requiring the high qualifications of English
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
staff to communicate.
Therefore
, linguists will gain chances to work for domestic companies
as well as
 international ones. Another reason why it is important for individuals to learn a second
language
 is facing up with international modernization.
In other words
, because of understanding global
languages
, citizens can adapt to any changes in the
world
. If not, these people can be left behind and lack knowledge about the development of the globe. Because of
this
, foreign
languages
 will be necessary for residents to access with new modifications from all over the
world
 in order to adjust suitably. Take the Philippines as a prime example, where most citizens learn English as a second
language
,
this
 reason helped
this
 country become
one
 of the most important countries in the
world
. In conclusion,
while
 there may be instances where new technologies contribute to learning foreign
languages
, it should not overshadow the importance of job opportunities with an adaption to new changes in the
world
.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. However, to enhance the task achievement score, consider developing some ideas more fully. For example, you could explore additional benefits of learning foreign languages beyond job opportunities and global adaptation.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the logical structure is solid, with a clear progression of ideas. Linking words and phrases are used effectively to guide the reader. However, be mindful of minor grammatical errors, such as 'interviewing requires' which should be 'interview requirements.' Further ensuring that points are consistently expanded and well-illustrated across the essay could strengthen the coherence and cohesion score.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion which effectively frame the argument, strengthening the overall coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Main points are well-supported with relevant examples, such as the reference to Samsung and the Philippines. These specific examples add depth and clarity to the argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: