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Band 4

Some believe that the development of technology and impreved software allow us totranslate between languages automatically.There fore, it is not necessary to learn foreign languages anymore. Do you agree or disagree ?

#believe #development #technology #software #totranslate #languages #fore
It is believed that because
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technological advances pave the way for
automatic
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the automatic
show examples
translation
 of different
languages
,so foreign
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
 become a dispensable part for
people
 to learn. The writer of
this
 essay totally agrees with
this
 statement because
translation
 management software can connect
people
 all over the world
while
learn
Change the verb form
learning
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 another
language
 is
waste
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a waste
show examples
 of
time
 and
money
 Using technology can bring great
benefit
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benefits
show examples
about
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to
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 global
connection
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connections
show examples
. To put it simply,
translation
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a translation
show examples
 system can translate various
languages
 into
mother
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the mother
show examples
language
 very quickly and exactly, so individuals will have
ability
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the ability
show examples
 to communicate with
any
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apply
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other
people
 and build
the
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apply
show examples
bridges with them.
As a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
people
 around the world become more friendly and sociable Another reason to approve of
this
 belief is wasting
time
 and
money
 if residents study another
language
.
This
 is because, in order to master
non-native
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a non-native
show examples
language
, learners will spend not only a lot of
time
 but
also
 a
myrid
Correct your spelling
myriad
 of
money
 and
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
.
Nevertheless
, only one
language
 can not communicate with many others, so
instead
 of learning them as much as possible,
people
 can
uztilize
Correct your spelling
utilize
utilise
 technology to help,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will save much
time
 and
money
.
For instance
, users deploy Google Translate which can help them understand immediately many foreign
languages
. In conclusion,
as
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the appearance of
translation
 management software,
people
 no need to study non-native
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
 any more because it can build
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
relationships with other foreigners easily and can restrict wasting of
time
 and
money
 when studying
languages
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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grammar
While your essay presents a clear stance and you offer valid points, there are small language errors and occasional awkward phrasing that detract from the overall quality. Work on improving grammar and sentence structure to enhance clarity.
enhancement
Enhance your examples to make them more specific and detailed. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly from one to the next. Use linking words and phrases to improve the overall cohesion.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which makes it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
task response
You successfully answered the task question and presented a clear argument with reasons to support your viewpoint.
content
The points made are relevant to the topic and contribute to the overall argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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