IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He/she has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter Explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday Describe some possible disadvantages Say whether you would like to go camping with your friend this summer

#friend #holiday #first #time #summer #advice
Dear Michael, I hope that you have been keeping well and I am glad that you are planning for a camping holiday during the upcoming summer vacations. As requested let me give you some suggestions.
Firstly
, I would recommend you to camp at the
parnera
Change the capitalization
Parnera
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 mountain
camp site
Correct your spelling
campsite
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 and I am sure you will love it as it is a beautiful place with lush green trees and awesome wild animals. It is a perfect getaway from the hustle and bustle of the city and one gets to celebrate nature at its best.
However
, I would
like
Add the particle
like to
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 declare
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 drawbacks of
this
 campsite. You will need to carry a mosquito net and bug repellent, as you will come across a lot of them.
Additionally
, carry a self-defence gadget as there have been instances of wild animal
attack
Fix the agreement mistake
attacks
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 at night. I would love to join you
at
Change preposition
in
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this
 adventure. Not only was I planning for
such
 a trip
since
Change preposition
for
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 a year, but
also
, I have just completed a mega project with my clients at my company, so I deserve a break. Call me up and we’ll plan everything together. I will be waiting for your reply, Yours lovingly, Nirav
Submitted by niravfb1987 on

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task achievement
Expand on the description of possible disadvantages by providing more details or examples to make the response more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph is clearly dedicated to one single idea. For example, discussing all the advantages in one paragraph and then all the disadvantages in another would improve clarity.
task achievement
The letter effectively addresses all parts of the task with clear explanations and suggestions.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is friendly and appropriate for a letter to a friend, which enhances the readability.
coherence cohesion
The letter has a logical structure with a clear beginning, middle, and end.
coherence cohesion
The letter has an effective greeting and closing, which makes it engaging and personal.
coherence cohesion
The ideas within the paragraphs are generally well-organized and lead smoothly from one to the next.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adventure
  • serenity
  • outdoors
  • refreshing
  • hustle and bustle
  • inherent
  • foster
  • distractions
  • cost-effective
  • unpredictable
  • wildlife
  • adequate preparation
  • physical demands
  • researching
  • campsite
  • lasting memories
  • mutual interests
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