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Band 3

Chart the amount of tea and coffee imported by four different countries in 2017.

#amount #tea #coffee #four #countries
The provided bar charts
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 quantities
tonnes
Change preposition
of tonnes
show examples
 of
tea
 and
coffe
Correct your spelling
coffee
buy
Wrong verb form
bought
show examples
 from abroad by four different nationalities namely, Canada, Britain,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, and
German
Replace the word
Germany
show examples
 in 2017.
Overall
, it is clearly observed that the total of
tea
 imported
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 had the number one spot among others.
In addition
,
UK
 had the the lowest spot in
coffee
 imported.
To begin
 with, the
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
 and the
Usa
Correct your spelling
USA
 had the
bigger
Correct word choice
biggest
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
volume imported in
tea
 than in
coffee
 throughout 2017. As the data shows the
UK
tea
number’s
Change noun form
number
show examples
 had eightfold the
number’s
Change preposition
number of
show examples
coffee
 which was 20,000
tones
.
Similarly
. The value of the USA
tea
had
Verb problem
was
show examples
 roughly twice times rather
than
Change preposition
of
show examples
coffee
 which was 40,000
tones
Correct your spelling
tonnes
show examples
.
In contrast
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Canada and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Germany had
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
deviation patterns during the same time frame.
For example
, the total of
coffee
 imported
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 had 40000
tones
 which
double
Add a missing verb
is double
show examples
 fold from
from
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
the total in
tea
. Meanwhile, there was a slight difference between
coffee
 and
tea
 in
german
Capitalize word
German
show examples
 which were at around 41,000 and 40,000
tones
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear and concise conclusion to sum up the main points discussed.
task achievement
Pay attention to the use of articles (e.g., 'the' and 'a'), as well as the proper use of singular and plural forms for nouns.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and punctuation to improve the overall readability of your essay.
task achievement
You have provided a good amount of relevant data and compared the different countries effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally coherent and flows logically from one point to the next.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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