IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1.5

The two plans illustrate changes what did make at the ground floor of a museum in period between 1990 and 2010.

#two #plans #changes #ground #floor #museum #period
Overall
, the design remained the same.
However
, the space has been improved with some new attractive modern rooms and reconstruction of
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 zones throughout the years.
Entrance
Add an article
The entrance
show examples
 was lengthened and
Reception
Correct article usage
the Reception
show examples
 counter was altered already next to the door. Areas on the left part
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 transformed
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 open
space
Fix the agreement mistake
spaces
show examples
, separated
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 others only
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
Add an article
the wall
a wall
show examples
wall
Fix the agreement mistake
walls
show examples
. For commodity of visitors
has added
Wrong verb form
,
show examples
 a lift on the left part next to the Natural history room. Since 2010, in zone has
been added
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 few new spaces for different visitors.
Gift
Correct article usage
The gift
show examples
 shop zone was extended and
rename
Change the form of the verb
renamed
show examples
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
Café
Correct article usage
a Café
show examples
 and gift shop, which has made
more
Correct pronoun usage
it more
show examples
 attractive than in 1990, where people could rest.
In addition
,
Statue
Correct article usage
the Statue
show examples
 was replaced in the middle of the ground floor increasing
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 space.
Archaeology
Correct article usage
The archaeology
show examples
 gallery was divided and replaced with
Children’s
Correct article usage
a Children’s
show examples
 interactive zone at the bottom and
Poster
Correct article usage
the Poster
show examples
 display area
has
Verb problem
was
show examples
 located above the Local history room.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that sentences are fully formed and complete. Some sentences in your essay are fragments and can be confusing.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph structure to clearly separate different points or ideas. This will enhance readability and logical flow.
task achievement
Make sure to use clear and concise language to effectively convey your ideas. Avoid excessively complex sentence structures.
task achievement
Provide more specific details and examples to fully explain the changes made to the museum. This will enhance the overall completeness of your response.
task achievement
You have successfully covered the main points about the changes made to the museum, which shows a good understanding of the task.
task achievement
The essay includes a variety of vocabulary terms related to the topic, demonstrating a good range of language use.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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