In some places old age is valued , while other culture youth is consider more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#places #age #culture #youth

Many

people

think that in some societies , younger

people

as much vital as older one

while

others consider that older

also

take important role in society . In my perspective, I think that

both

are significant and will discuss points from

both

sides before on the other side , there are

people

who give more value to old individuals because of priceless experience they have. To precise , it is almost a proven fact that as

people

achieved, they learn more from their real life experiences . These lessons they have learned are valuaable for the younger generation if they are spread with them .

For instance

, children tend to get commen from our parents before they decide to do something

initially

. Another religions , in which old age communities are exceptional is in the case of transforming previous culture and heritage to their immediate generation, and

this

is inevitable for socially's identify . on the otherside , the younger person give more worth to the youth feel that are the backbone of the whole society . To be cleared , can you consider

this

group is more productive, and agile than their older counterparts .

Furthermore

, they can absorb information quickly throughout smart devices in modern era .

In addition

, youth are creativity which can adapt flexibility to the innovate ideas and they are put forward by firms and governments .

To sum up

, those countries which have a great population of young labours would naturally have enough opportunities to develop

both

socially and economically. After analyzing

both

sides in detail , I feel society needs

both

invaluable experience and service of the old ones . At the same time , it

also

requires a strong population productive workforce who can suit to the processing situations .

Submitted by [email protected] on Tue Feb 27 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on structuring your essay more clearly with a distinct introduction that includes your thesis statement, body paragraphs that each focus on a single main idea, and a conclusion that summarizes your points and restates your opinion.

coherence cohesion

Improve your introduction and conclusion. Both should clearly present your main argument and the conclusion should neatly wrap up your discussion, reinforcing your stance on the topic.

coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is fully developed with specific examples. This will improve the support for your main points.

task achievement

To fully address the task, ensure you discuss both views equally before giving your opinion. Make sure your opinion is clear throughout the essay and especially in the conclusion.

task achievement

Use a wider range of vocabulary and grammatical structures to express your ideas more precisely and variedly. This will also help to avoid repetition and make your essay more engaging to read.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

300 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some places old age is valued , while other culture youth is consider more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys the play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the children having a large number of toys?

Some people say that to benefit the development of a child, the mother and father should take parenting classes. To what extent you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays the differences between countries are becoming less evident because we see the same TV shows, advertisements, fashion and follow the same brands. To what extent the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local custom and codes of behavior. Do you agree or disagree ?

More and more people are relying on their private cars as a major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution.