The government should control the Internet to reduce cyber crime and ensure safety of users. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Nowadays, as society rapidly transitions to the digital era, cybercrime has become a serious problem. I partly agree that the
government
should control the internet
. However
, there are some issues to consider besides
its negative effects.
On the one hand, there are some grounds to support the view that controlling the internet
has several primary drawbacks. Firstly
, the internet
is an open platform that everyone can use freely. When the government
starts to control websites or personal internet
platforms, people
might feel that their privacy is being invaded. For instance
, in some countries, where online regulations have already been implemented, it has led to over-regulation. Even though reducing cybercrime was their main purpose, it might bring other concerning problems to the public.
On the other hand
, I believe that we need some regulations to reduce serious internet
-related crimes. To begin
with, a great number of people
use the internet
every day, and it has become one of the biggest parts of our lives. In general, most Capitalize word
Internet
people
post their daily activities on social media or save their personal information, such
as bank account passwords, home addresses, and mobile phone numbers, online. These facts make people
more vulnerable to various cybercrimes. I suggest that the government
play a crucial role in protecting citizens' personal information. For example
, the government
should monitor suspicious internet
activities and run campaigns to increase people
's awareness of cybercrime. Therefore
, controlling internet
activity can help ensure internet
safety.
In conclusion, it is not a clear-cut issue as there are pros and cons to both sides. Although
controlling and regulating the internet
has significant disadvantages, people
need laws to protect them, especially as the internet
environment is rapidly expanding. This
will be a better option in the long term.Submitted by kimjy3329 on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view on the topic, which is commendable. However, ensure that your position is clearly stated in the introduction. It would be helpful to explicitly mention that you partly agree and outline the main points that you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Although your essay generally flows well, try to strengthen the logical connections between your paragraphs. A more explicit use of linking words or phrases can enhance the overall coherence.
task achievement
While you've presented relevant examples, consider providing more specific or detailed examples to support your arguments better. For example, mention a specific country where over-regulation has led to issues, or cite statistics related to cybercrime.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, providing a clear structure.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well supported, demonstrating your understanding of the topic and ability to generate relevant ideas.
task achievement
Your arguments are clear and you touch upon both sides of the issue, which shows a balanced perspective.