You have a full-time job and you are also doing a part-time evening course. You now find that you cannot continue the course. Write a letter to your teachers. In your letter describe the situation explain why you cannot continue at this time say what action you would like to take

#job #course #teachers #situation #time #action

Dear Manoj, I know you are doing well. As you are celebrating your sixtieth birthday next month, I want to give some suggestions regarding the way it could be celebrated.

Firstly

, I think the most important task is to select which type of party should be held. I must say it is better to go with a simple themed party, where everyone should dress in vintage-style suits and boots. As an early 1900s born, It will be grateful to bring back the old style.

Secondly

, I think the 90's Retro Function hall will be a very good place to host the party.

Last

month, I went to a family function in the same function hall, and everything in the building resembled the past era. As all our friends are meeting after quite a long time now, it will be a great place to memorize the school days.

Furthermore

, I recommend you keep a retro troop for the music, as we are trying to create the old vibe, I know it is hard to find someone who can play vintage music, but I think I have a few contacts who might help us. looking forward to seeing you. Best Regards, Srinivas Varma.

Submitted by varmaib1 on Thu Feb 22 2024

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task achievement

Ensure your letter directly addresses the prompts given. While the content is interesting, it is crucial to follow the task instructions closely to effectively meet the task's requirements.

task achievement

Adopt a more succinct and direct opening to clarify the purpose of the letter immediately. Avoid extraneous greetings or remarks unrelated to the task at hand.

coherence cohesion

Maintain a structured approach to organizing your letter. Start with an introduction, follow with body paragraphs each covering a single point, and conclude with a summary or closing remark.

coherence cohesion

Incorporate transitional phrases to better connect ideas and paragraphs. This will enhance the flow of information and make your letter easier to follow.

task achievement

Consider adopting a formal or semi-formal tone throughout, as is fitting for correspondence with a teacher. This includes more formal salutations and closings, as well as appropriately formal language.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

201 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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