Some people think that it’s a good idea to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it’s important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Some
persons
believe that socialising with co-workers during weekends and evenings is recommended. Replace the word
people
However
, other people think it is necessary to separate work and social life
.
I agree that socialising with teammates increases the relationship and
Correct word choice
apply
resulting
Wrong verb form
results
into
a good working culture and Change preposition
in
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
the
efficiency. The essay will discuss both views and argue in favour of it.
In the recent era, a number of people become extremely friendly and socialised Correct article usage
apply
due to
the monotonous lifestyle. They always want to meet thr
office staff during Correct your spelling
the
free
time and discuss their views and Correct pronoun usage
their free
opinion
. Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
Therefore
, such
gatherings make them more relax
and Wrong verb form
relaxed
reduces
the distance between them. It Change the verb form
reduce
also
minimizes the miss-understanding
between a team. Correct your spelling
misunderstanding
As a result
, such
groups work togethor
effectively Correct your spelling
together
and
Correct word choice
apply
shows
outstanding performance as a team and enhance Correct subject-verb agreement
show
the
Correct article usage
apply
overall
working efficiency. For example
, nowadays, It has been the
part of Change the article
apply
key
performance indicator for Correct article usage
a key
the
multinational companies's Correct article usage
apply
manager
to arrange Fix the agreement mistake
managers
such
meet
and make colleagues Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
more
closer for effective teamwork.
Change the word
apply
On the other hand
, It is true that some persons
always believe that working and social Replace the word
people
life
should not be combined. They want a clear demarcation between both lives in order to keep themselves free from the office culture and the
unnecessary gossip. Correct article usage
apply
This
is due to
avoid any complex between family members and jelus. Moreover
, following
this
decision can support them to stayaway
Correct your spelling
stay away
any
Change preposition
from any
comparision
and Correct your spelling
comparison
the
competition. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, some individuals do not like to invite their office staff to the
personal gatherings as they do not want any conflicts because of Correct article usage
apply
combinding thier
working and social Correct your spelling
combining their
life
togethor
.
In conclusion, It's Correct your spelling
together
individual
decision to combine or separate Add an article
an individual
the
work and Correct article usage
apply
the
social Correct article usage
apply
life
due to
various factors, nevertheless
, my opinion is to be more socialise
with colleagues and enjoy Wrong verb form
socialised
lives
.Fix the agreement mistake
life
Submitted by ahv on
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coherence
Consider improving the logical structure of your essay. Although you present your views clearly, the transitions between ideas can be smoother. This will help enhance the overall readability of your essay.
task achievement
Ensure that you proofread your essay carefully to avoid spelling and grammatical mistakes. This will make your argumentation more clear and professional.
task achievement
Try to elaborate on your examples more thoroughly and relate them directly to your argument. This will make your points stronger and more convincing.
introduction
Your essay provides a clear introduction that outlines the two different views and states your opinion. This sets a strong foundation for the rest of the essay.
conclusion
The conclusion is effective in summarizing your stance and reiterating your argument, providing a clear end to your discussion.
examples
You give relevant examples, particularly about multinational companies and their practices. This helps provide some context and real-world relevance to your points.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example