Some people think that it’s a good idea to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it’s important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #it’s #idea #socialise #work #colleagues #evenings #weekends #life

Some

persons

Replace the word

people

show examples

believe that socialising with co-workers during weekends and evenings is recommended.

However

, other people think it is necessary to separate work and social

life

. I agree that socialising with teammates increases the relationship

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

resulting

Wrong verb form

results

show examples

into

Change preposition

show examples

a good working culture and

improve

Correct subject-verb agreement

improves

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

efficiency. The essay will discuss both views and argue in favour of it. In the recent era, a number of people become extremely friendly and socialised

due to

the monotonous lifestyle. They always want to meet

thr

Correct your spelling

the

office staff during

free

Correct pronoun usage

their free

show examples

time and discuss their views and

opinion

Fix the agreement mistake

opinions

show examples

Therefore

such

gatherings make them more

relax

Wrong verb form

relaxed

show examples

and

reduces

Change the verb form

reduce

show examples

the distance between them. It

also

minimizes the

miss-understanding

Correct your spelling

misunderstanding

show examples

between a team.

As a result

such

groups work

togethor

Correct your spelling

together

effectively

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

shows

Correct subject-verb agreement

show

show examples

outstanding performance as a team and enhance

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

overall

working efficiency.

For example

, nowadays, It has been

the

Change the article

apply

show examples

part of

key

Correct article usage

a key

show examples

performance indicator for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

multinational companies's

manager

Fix the agreement mistake

managers

show examples

to arrange

such

meet

Fix the agreement mistake

meetings

show examples

and make colleagues

Change the word

apply

show examples

closer for effective teamwork.

On the other hand

, It is true that some

persons

Replace the word

people

show examples

always believe that working and social

life

should not be combined. They want a clear demarcation between both lives in order to keep themselves free from the office culture and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unnecessary gossip.

This

due to

avoid any complex between family members and jelus.

Moreover

following

this

decision can support them to

stayaway

Correct your spelling

stay away

any

Change preposition

from any

show examples

comparision

Correct your spelling

comparison

and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

competition.

For example

, some individuals do not like to invite their office staff to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

personal gatherings as they do not want any conflicts because of

combinding thier

Correct your spelling

combining their

working and social

life

togethor

Correct your spelling

together

. In conclusion, It's

individual

Add an article

an individual

show examples

decision to combine or separate

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

work and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social

life

due to

various factors,

nevertheless

, my opinion is to be more

socialise

Wrong verb form

socialised

show examples

with colleagues and enjoy

lives

Fix the agreement mistake

life

show examples

Submitted by ahv on Wed May 29 2024

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coherence

Consider improving the logical structure of your essay. Although you present your views clearly, the transitions between ideas can be smoother. This will help enhance the overall readability of your essay.

task achievement

Ensure that you proofread your essay carefully to avoid spelling and grammatical mistakes. This will make your argumentation more clear and professional.

task achievement

Try to elaborate on your examples more thoroughly and relate them directly to your argument. This will make your points stronger and more convincing.

introduction

Your essay provides a clear introduction that outlines the two different views and states your opinion. This sets a strong foundation for the rest of the essay.

conclusion

The conclusion is effective in summarizing your stance and reiterating your argument, providing a clear end to your discussion.

examples

You give relevant examples, particularly about multinational companies and their practices. This helps provide some context and real-world relevance to your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cohesive work environment
work-life balance
renewed focus
interpersonal relationships
professional boundaries
fostering
blur the lines
burnout
networking opportunities
informal mentorships
career advancement
workplace dynamics
personal well-being

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Some people think that it’s a good idea to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it’s important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In the past, people lived in one place for a long time, but now they can live in many different places. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development?

Because of the covid epidemic, many people prefer to work or study from home instead of going to their workplace or university What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Teenagers face a lot of difficulties at home and at school. What are the causes for this? How Can parents provide solutions?

Some cities create housing areas by providing taller buildings. Others create housing by building houses on a wider area of land. What solution is better?