People in many countries are spending less time with their families. What are the reasons, and effects of this?

It is widely argued that the world is facing insufficient
time
for family in
this
modern
society
nowadays.
This
essay attempts to shed light on the underlying reasons behind
this
tendency before clarifying some serious repercussions it is going to have on both family and
society
as a whole. There are two primary reasons as to why quality family
time
has been on the decline to some extent. First and foremost, hectic work schedules are depriving people of their
time
supposedly spent with family. To simplify, people have the tendency to prolong their working
time
to address tasks
as well as
improve their income, which eventually limits the
time
spent with their spouses or
children
.
Secondly
, the advent of hi-tech devices could
also
lead to the absence of family
time
during the day.
This
perception could be reinforced by the fact that
children
living in the modern world today have a preference to enjoy themselves through various online applications, namely Facebook or TikTok,
instead
of engaging in conversations with their parents. The growing trend towards reduced family
time
is going to put both family and
society
in jeopardy. Regarding the former,
this
negative trend could widen the emotional gap and weaken the bonds among family members.
As a result
, people are likely to mislead their families and raise more arguments, leading to countless family problems,
such
as violent acts or even divorce in the worst-case scenario. With respect to the latter, the degradation of quality family
time
could bring about serious societal issues. Specifically, in some Vietnamese families, parents spend more
time
in their workplace, which means their
children
are unsupervised.
Consequently
,
this
acts as a precursor to exposing
children
to toxic influences from bad friends or their media consumption.
This
is to say,
this
is indeed a breeding ground for violence and crime in modern
society
. In conclusion, a heavy amount of work combined with the overly heavy use of technological devices results in a lack of family
time
, and
this
phenomenon has a variety of adverse implications for both family and
society
.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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complete response
While your response addresses the task well by identifying reasons and effects, it would benefit from slightly more detail in elaborating on the causes and effects. This could enhance completeness.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay demonstrates clear and comprehensive ideas, but make sure to refine your language further to ensure precision and avoid any vague expressions.
introduction conclusion present
You have introduced the topic effectively and provided a clear outline of what will be discussed in the essay.
logical structure
The essay has a logical flow from the reasons to the effects, which helps the reader follow your argument.
supported main points
Most of the main points are well-supported with clear and relevant examples, such as references to work schedules and online applications like Facebook or TikTok.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demands of the workplace
  • digital technology
  • social media
  • individualism
  • erosion of family bonds
  • emotional distance
  • strain relationships
  • emotional support
  • negative impact
  • emotional, social, and academic challenges
  • neglected
  • guidance and support
  • stress and mental health issues
  • anxiety
  • depression
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