Although it is generally illegal, physical punishment continues in many countries. Some argue that parents should have the right to punish their children in this way. Do you agree or disagree?

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In today's society, the debate over whether parents should have the right to physically punish their

children

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persists, despite it being generally illegal in many countries. I strongly disagree with the idea that parents should have

this

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right, even for minor

offenses

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offences

show examples

This

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essay will explain my reasons and provide supporting examples.

Firstly

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, physical

punishment

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can have severe negative effects on

children

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's mental health, leading to long-term psychological issues.

This

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type of

punishment

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can create lasting trauma, affecting a child's ability to function as a well-adjusted adult.

For instance

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, in some families,

children

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are punished with heavy objects, which can cause lasting physical and emotional scars. In developing countries like Thailand, using sharp objects to punish

children

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is not uncommon, which can result in severe injuries and lifelong

fear

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Furthermore

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, physical

punishment

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can restrict

children

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's development and independence, as it

instills

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instils

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fear

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rather than discipline.

Children

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subjected to physical

punishment

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may become overly dependent and fearful, unable to make decisions or take actions independently.

For example

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children

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who are frequently punished may be reluctant to participate in class or answer questions

due to

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fear

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of being scolded, regardless of whether they answer correctly.

This

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fear

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can stifle their curiosity and willingness to engage in learning opportunities. In conclusion, physical

punishment

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has numerous detrimental effects on

children

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's mental health and development.

Therefore

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, parents should seek alternative, non-physical methods of discipline to ensure the well-being and growth of their

children

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. By doing so, they can help their

children

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develop into healthy, confident, and independent individuals.

saiparnwcWed May 29 2024

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task achievement

Your essay responds well to the task, but to achieve a higher score, consider broadening your argument with additional points. For instance, you could explore legal perspectives or the social implications of physical punishment.

task achievement

Your ideas are generally clear and comprehensive. To improve further, elaborate on some points with deeper analysis or additional examples. This can make your argument more persuasive.

task achievement

The examples you provided are relevant, but adding more specific, real-world cases can strengthen your position. For instance, you could mention specific studies or statistics that highlight the negative impacts of physical punishment on children.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a logical structure, but to elevate it, consider using a wider variety of cohesive devices and transitions to link your ideas more seamlessly. This can make your argument flow more naturally.

coherence cohesion

While your introductory and concluding paragraphs are clear and concise, enhancing them with a more compelling hook or a thought-provoking closing statement could make your essay more impactful.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are well supported, but to improve, ensure each paragraph conveys a single coherent idea. Sometimes, combining several related points into one paragraph can simplify your argument and make it stronger.

task achievement

Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. This structure helps in presenting your argument effectively.

task achievement

The use of specific examples, such as those from developing countries, adds credibility to your essay and clearly illustrates the negative impacts of physical punishment.

coherence cohesion

You have maintained a logical flow in your argument, making it easy for the reader to follow your points.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay and reinforces your stance on the issue.

7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Although it is generally illegal, physical punishment continues in many countries. Some argue that parents should have the right to punish their children in this way. Do you agree or disagree?

Individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of modern society. Some people think that we must return to older more traditional values such as respect for the and the local community in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In many countries, plastic bags are one the main sources of damage to the environment, and so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?