IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Today, the majority of children are raised by their grandparents due to the fact that their parents are busy working. To what extend do you think it effects the while family?

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Introduction
Most
of
Change preposition
apply
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people are taking care of their grandchildren,
While
Linking Words
 fathers and mothers are working and
had
Wrong verb form
have
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 hectic
scadule
Correct your spelling
schedule
. in my point of
view
Add a comma
view,
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 it has a lot of
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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disadvatages
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disadvantages
 and advantages,
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 the cons are more than
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
.
Body paragraph 1
The impact of
this
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 action could
interfer
Correct your spelling
interfere
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 many life aspects,
Additionally
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 can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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 the community as well.
Moreover
Linking Words
 ,
childern
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children
 who tend to grow
with
Change preposition
up with
show examples
 their grandparents tend to
by
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be
show examples
psycologically
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psychologically
 unstable,
because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
 the lack of family
boundraie
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boundaries
. Raising
children
Use synonyms
 and
teengs
Correct your spelling
teens
teenagers
 is
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 complex process and
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
larg
Correct your spelling
large
 effort and attention,
As well as
Linking Words
its
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
imporant
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important
 to
guid
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guide
 the
children
Use synonyms
 in their pathways.
Body paragraph 2
In fact, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 some positive points
such
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 as
children
Use synonyms
 will learn to be more self
dependens
Correct your spelling
dependent
dependents
,
For instance
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, one of my
freinds
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friends
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
in
Change preposition
up in
show examples
 her
grands
Correct your spelling
grand
 house,
she
Correct word choice
and she
show examples
 had
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
show examples
personatlity
Correct your spelling
personality
.
Although
Linking Words
 she says that she
experinced
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experienced
harm
Replace the word
harmful
show examples
Change preposition
in cildhood
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cildhood
Correct your spelling
childhood
.
Finally
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 totally
argue
Verb problem
agree
show examples
 to leave my babies with my parent under any conditions.
Conclusion
To
coclude
Correct your spelling
conclude
, the negative consequences
not
Add a missing verb
are not
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 only limited to
childen
Correct your spelling
children
 but the family as
whole
Add an article
a whole
show examples
 can be affected. So
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think we all should value our time to spend
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
with
children
Use synonyms
,
also
Linking Words
 always try to be present for their needs.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer structure. Begin with an introduction that outlines the topic and your main points, then proceed to elaborating on each point in separate paragraphs. Finally, conclude by summarizing your main arguments. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Make sure to support each of your main points with concrete examples and detailed explanations. This helps in building a more compelling argument and demonstrates your ability to provide comprehensive responses.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. For example, 'scadule' should be 'schedule' and 'psylogically' should be 'psychologically'. Attention to detail in language use can significantly improve the readability and overall impression of your essay.
task achievement
You've made a solid attempt to address both the advantages and disadvantages of children being raised by their grandparents. This shows a balanced approach to the topic.
task achievement
Your example about your friend adds a personal touch and helps to make your point about the potential benefits of being raised by grandparents.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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