Today, the majority of children are raised by their grandparents due to the fact that their parents are busy working. To what extend do you think it effects the while family?
Most
of
people are taking care of their grandchildren, Change preposition
apply
While
fathers and mothers are working and had
hectic Wrong verb form
have
scadule
. in my point of Correct your spelling
schedule
view
it has a lot of Add a comma
view,
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
disadvatages
and advantages, Correct your spelling
disadvantages
However
the cons are more than Add a comma
However,
pros
.
The impact of Correct article usage
the pros
this
action could interfer
Correct your spelling
interfere
in
many life aspects, Change preposition
with
Additionally
can effect
the community as well. Correct your spelling
affect
Moreover
, childern
who tend to grow Correct your spelling
children
with
their grandparents tend to Change preposition
up with
by
Correct your spelling
be
psycologically
unstable, Correct your spelling
psychologically
because
the lack of family Add the preposition
because of
boundraie
. Raising Correct your spelling
boundaries
children
and teengs
is Correct your spelling
teens
teenagers
very
complex process and Add an article
a very
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
larg
effort and attention, Correct your spelling
large
As well as
its
Correct your spelling
is
imporant
to Correct your spelling
important
guid
the Correct your spelling
guide
children
in their pathways.
In fact, there is
some positive points Change the verb form
are
such
as children
will learn to be more self dependens
, Correct your spelling
dependent
dependents
For instance
, one of my freinds
Correct your spelling
friends
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
in
her Change preposition
up in
grands
house, Correct your spelling
grand
she
had Correct word choice
and she
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
personatlity
. Correct your spelling
personality
Although
she says that she experinced
Correct your spelling
experienced
harm
Replace the word
harmful
Change preposition
in cildhood
cildhood
. Correct your spelling
childhood
Finally
, i
totally Change the capitalization
I
argue
to leave my babies with my parent under any conditions.
To Verb problem
agree
coclude
, the negative consequences Correct your spelling
conclude
not
only limited to Add a missing verb
are not
childen
but the family as Correct your spelling
children
whole
can be affected. So Add an article
a whole
i
think we all should value our time to spend Change the capitalization
I
it
with Correct pronoun usage
apply
children
, also
always try to be present for their needs.Submitted by Selfigih7 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer structure. Begin with an introduction that outlines the topic and your main points, then proceed to elaborating on each point in separate paragraphs. Finally, conclude by summarizing your main arguments. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Make sure to support each of your main points with concrete examples and detailed explanations. This helps in building a more compelling argument and demonstrates your ability to provide comprehensive responses.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. For example, 'scadule' should be 'schedule' and 'psylogically' should be 'psychologically'. Attention to detail in language use can significantly improve the readability and overall impression of your essay.
task achievement
You've made a solid attempt to address both the advantages and disadvantages of children being raised by their grandparents. This shows a balanced approach to the topic.
task achievement
Your example about your friend adds a personal touch and helps to make your point about the potential benefits of being raised by grandparents.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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