Today, the majority of children are raised by their grandparents due to the fact that their parents are busy working. To what extend do you think it effects the while family?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people are taking care of their grandchildren,

While

Linking Words

fathers and mothers are working and

had

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

hectic

scadule

Correct your spelling

schedule

. in my point of

view

Add a comma

view,

show examples

it has a lot of

both

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

disadvatages

Correct your spelling

disadvantages

and advantages,

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

the cons are more than

pros

Correct article usage

the pros

show examples

. The impact of

this

Linking Words

action could

interfer

Correct your spelling

interfere

Change preposition

with

show examples

many life aspects,

Additionally

Linking Words

can

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

the community as well.

Moreover

Linking Words

childern

Correct your spelling

children

who tend to grow

with

Change preposition

up with

show examples

their grandparents tend to

Correct your spelling

show examples

psycologically

Correct your spelling

psychologically

unstable,

because

Add the preposition

because of

show examples

the lack of family

boundraie

Correct your spelling

boundaries

. Raising

children

Use synonyms

and

teengs

Correct your spelling

teens

teenagers

very

Add an article

a very

show examples

complex process and

need

Correct subject-verb agreement

needs

show examples

larg

Correct your spelling

large

effort and attention,

As well as

Linking Words

its

Correct your spelling

show examples

imporant

Correct your spelling

important

guid

Correct your spelling

guide

the

children

Use synonyms

in their pathways. In fact, there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

some positive points

such

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

will learn to be more self

dependens

Correct your spelling

dependent

dependents

For instance

Linking Words

, one of my

freinds

Correct your spelling

friends

grow

Wrong verb form

grew

show examples

Change preposition

up in

show examples

her

grands

Correct your spelling

grand

house,

she

Correct word choice

and she

show examples

had

strong

Correct article usage

a strong

show examples

personatlity

Correct your spelling

personality

Although

Linking Words

she says that she

experinced

Correct your spelling

experienced

harm

Replace the word

harmful

show examples

Change preposition

in cildhood

show examples

cildhood

Correct your spelling

childhood

Finally

Linking Words

Change the capitalization

show examples

totally

argue

Verb problem

agree

show examples

to leave my babies with my parent under any conditions. To

coclude

Correct your spelling

conclude

, the negative consequences

not

Add a missing verb

are not

show examples

only limited to

childen

Correct your spelling

children

but the family as

whole

Add an article

a whole

show examples

can be affected. So

Change the capitalization

show examples

think we all should value our time to spend

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

with

children

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

always try to be present for their needs.

Selfigih7Wed May 29 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Your essay would benefit from a clearer structure. Begin with an introduction that outlines the topic and your main points, then proceed to elaborating on each point in separate paragraphs. Finally, conclude by summarizing your main arguments. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.

task achievement

Make sure to support each of your main points with concrete examples and detailed explanations. This helps in building a more compelling argument and demonstrates your ability to provide comprehensive responses.

coherence cohesion

Be mindful of grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. For example, 'scadule' should be 'schedule' and 'psylogically' should be 'psychologically'. Attention to detail in language use can significantly improve the readability and overall impression of your essay.

task achievement

You've made a solid attempt to address both the advantages and disadvantages of children being raised by their grandparents. This shows a balanced approach to the topic.

task achievement

Your example about your friend adds a personal touch and helps to make your point about the potential benefits of being raised by grandparents.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
45
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

200 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Nations should spend more money on skills and vocational training for practical work, rather than on university education. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.
The perennial debate on whether nations should predominantly invest in vocational training over tertiary education ignites varied perspectives. This essay contends that while practical skills are imperative, the merits of a university education cannot be undermined.
7.5
band
These days, many people rely on traditional medicine. Is this a positive or negative development?
Although traditional medicine is thought by some to be a good alternative to modern one, other people visit doctors. In my opinion, I think that self-medication can bring about more problems compared to any advantages it might bring.
8
band
Some companies encourage workers to be competitive, while others encourage temawokr. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Managers have an influential impact on their employees. While some people believe that employees should actively participate in team assessments, others argue that jobseekers should rather compete with each other in the workplace. Nevertheless, I subscribe to the former view; in my perspective, teamwork instils a sense of responsibility, fosters social skills, and promotes interactive learning, which facilitates workers to reap numerous benefits.
6
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative trend?
Smartphones are electric devices which are readily available to anyone in society now regardless of their economic or social background. They have gone beyond the primary purpose of making a call,towards photography, digital creating, content creating,social influencing and artificial intelligence.In this eassay, I am going to express my view regarding this on both positive and negative aspects.
7.5
band
Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work with a company or organization. What might be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self employed?
The 21st century is full of opportunity and freedom. Nowadays, people would rather work individually than work for a company; since the pay is much higher. In this essay, I will address the problem and find its disadvantages accordingly.

Today, the majority of children are raised by their grandparents due to the fact that their parents are busy working. To what extend do you think it effects the while family?

Fully explain your ideas

Nations should spend more money on skills and vocational training for practical work, rather than on university education. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.

These days, many people rely on traditional medicine. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some companies encourage workers to be competitive, while others encourage temawokr. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative trend?

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work with a company or organization. What might be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self employed?