IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Today, the majority of children are raised by their grandparents due to the fact that their parents are busy working. To what extend do you think it effects the while family?

#majority #children #grandparents #fact #parents #effects
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Most
of
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apply
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people are taking care of their grandchildren,
While
 fathers and mothers are working and
had
Wrong verb form
have
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 hectic
scadule
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schedule
. in my point of
view
Add a comma
view,
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 it has a lot of
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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disadvatages
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disadvantages
 and advantages,
However
Add a comma
However,
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 the cons are more than
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
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. The impact of
this
 action could
interfer
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interfere
in
Change preposition
with
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 many life aspects,
Additionally
 can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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 the community as well.
Moreover
 ,
childern
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children
 who tend to grow
with
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up with
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 their grandparents tend to
by
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be
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psycologically
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psychologically
 unstable,
because
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because of
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 the lack of family
boundraie
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boundaries
. Raising
children
 and
teengs
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teens
teenagers
 is
very
Add an article
a very
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 complex process and
need
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needs
show examples
larg
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large
 effort and attention,
As well as
its
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is
show examples
imporant
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important
 to
guid
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guide
 the
children
 in their pathways. In fact, there
is
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are
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 some positive points
such
 as
children
 will learn to be more self
dependens
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dependent
dependents
,
For instance
, one of my
freinds
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friends
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
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in
Change preposition
up in
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 her
grands
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grand
 house,
she
Correct word choice
and she
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 had
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
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personatlity
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personality
.
Although
 she says that she
experinced
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experienced
harm
Replace the word
harmful
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Change preposition
in cildhood
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cildhood
Correct your spelling
childhood
.
Finally
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 totally
argue
Verb problem
agree
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 to leave my babies with my parent under any conditions. To
coclude
Correct your spelling
conclude
, the negative consequences
not
Add a missing verb
are not
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 only limited to
childen
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children
 but the family as
whole
Add an article
a whole
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 can be affected. So
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think we all should value our time to spend
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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with
children
,
also
 always try to be present for their needs.
Submitted by Selfigih7 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer structure. Begin with an introduction that outlines the topic and your main points, then proceed to elaborating on each point in separate paragraphs. Finally, conclude by summarizing your main arguments. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Make sure to support each of your main points with concrete examples and detailed explanations. This helps in building a more compelling argument and demonstrates your ability to provide comprehensive responses.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. For example, 'scadule' should be 'schedule' and 'psylogically' should be 'psychologically'. Attention to detail in language use can significantly improve the readability and overall impression of your essay.
task achievement
You've made a solid attempt to address both the advantages and disadvantages of children being raised by their grandparents. This shows a balanced approach to the topic.
task achievement
Your example about your friend adds a personal touch and helps to make your point about the potential benefits of being raised by grandparents.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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