IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees, while others offer free entry. In my view, the benefits of free admission outweigh the drawbacks.

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The educational value of
museums
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 and art
galleries
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 is paramount, yet the approach to
admission
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 fees varies.
While
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 free entry is ideal, it
also
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 comes with its own set of challenges.
However
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, I believe that the advantages of free
admission
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 far outweigh the disadvantages. One significant advantage of offering free
admission
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 to
museums
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 and art
galleries
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 is the accessibility it provides to cultural and historical
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
show examples
.
This
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 allows people of all backgrounds to engage with their heritage and gain a sense of pride in their identity.
For example
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, Indigenous communities can access their cultural
artifacts
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artefacts
show examples
 and learn about their ancestors' achievements in architecture and metallurgical technology.
This
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 fosters a deeper connection to their history and promotes national pride. Despite the benefits, there are some drawbacks to free entry. One major disadvantage is the potential overcrowding and its impact on the visitor experience. High visitor numbers can detract from the enjoyment of artworks and lead to increased wear and tear on exhibits.
Additionally
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, without the revenue from
admission
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 fees,
museums
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 and
galleries
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 may struggle to cover maintenance costs and pay staff salaries, putting a strain on limited resources. In conclusion,
while
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 free
admission
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 to
museums
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 and art
galleries
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 may have its challenges,
such
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 as overcrowding and financial strain, the educational benefits and accessibility it offers outweigh these drawbacks. It is crucial to prioritize educating the public about their history and culture, making free
admission
Use synonyms
 a worthwhile investment.

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task response
Your essay presents clear main points, but you could strengthen your argument by addressing potential opposing views and rebutting them. This would demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
While your points are logically structured, you could improve the cohesion by using more varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly. This will help your essay flow better and enhance readability.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your argument, providing a clear stance on the topic.
task response
You included specific examples and detailed explanations, which support your main points well. This strengthens your argument and demonstrates your understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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