The bar chart shows the attendance of people in different ages in music events in Australia in 2006.

The bar chart shows the attendance of people in different ages in music events in Australia in 2006.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The bar chart shows the attendance of people in different ages in music events in Australia in 2006.
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The bar chart illustrates the proportion of participation
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
three distinctive types of singing events in 2006 in Australia. Generally speaking, the figure for the type of popular
music
Use synonyms
was visited the most by all
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
, except
groups
Use synonyms
of
age
Use synonyms
from 45 to 54 and over 55.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the proportion of classical
music
Use synonyms
was unknown by the most of
age
Use synonyms
groups
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. It can be seen that the proportion of people in both
age
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groups
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15-24 and 25-34 enjoyed listening to classical
music
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was the same at 11%, and 8% by
age
Use synonyms
group 25-34.
Besides
Linking Words
that, the percentage of popular
music
Use synonyms
was watched the most by three
age
Use synonyms
groups
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15-24, 25-34 and 35-44 with 38%, 27% and 33% respectively,
while
Linking Words
opera
music
Use synonyms
was attended by those
groups
Use synonyms
at 13%, 14% and 25% in that order. Moving on to the
groups
Use synonyms
of both ages from 45 to 54 and more than 55, the figure for opera
music
Use synonyms
liked by those
groups
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was similar at 15%.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, the percentage of
population
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the population
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over the
age
Use synonyms
of 55 who prefer hearing popular
music
Use synonyms
was the lowest at 5%,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
music
Use synonyms
was attended by
community
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the community
show examples
between 45 and 54 at 13%.
Finally
Linking Words
, the percentage of
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
in those ages who keened on classical
music
Use synonyms
were 10% and 8% respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words music, age, groups with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • attendance patterns
  • age demographics
  • teenagers
  • young adults
  • middle-aged individuals
  • senior citizens
  • varies
  • preferences
  • interpret
  • type of music events
  • concerts
  • festivals
  • classical music events
  • insightful
  • popular
  • cultural influences
  • social trends
  • lifestyle choices
  • affect
  • rates
  • economic factors
  • accessibility
  • cost of tickets
  • income levels
  • comparison
  • recreational activities
  • forms of entertainment
  • noting trends
  • deviations
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