Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Opinions differ on whether individuals should compete or cooperate on a daily basis has left many debates.
While
Linking Words
some
people
Use synonyms
argue that rivalry is a nice idea, I side with those who feel that cooperating with others is more essential. On the one hand, It could be argued that
competition
Use synonyms
encourages positive change in many aspects of
people
Use synonyms
’s lives.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it can help them to transcend their capabilities which is probably useful for their success.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
who participate in a
competition
Use synonyms
usually feel that they can’t be stagnant at the same level which means that it can probably motivate them to do better.
As a result
Linking Words
, it might lead them to have better performance and become highly motivated
people
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the rivalry could potentially invent new breakthroughs and innovations from the positive outcome that comes from the
competition
Use synonyms
itself. To illustrate, hackathon competitions, one of the most popular competitions in computer science fields, have developed many useful projects for various fields in society, including science, medicine, education, and more.
Thus
Linking Words
, considering participating in a
competition
Use synonyms
can be a good option.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I agree with those who feel that collaboration is better than
competition
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, collaboration can help to build a harmonious life because it encourages bonding and creates strong relationships with others. By achieving a harmonious life, they can help themself to be less stressed and
also
Linking Words
protect their mental health.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, collaboration
also
Linking Words
can help to reduce inequality in society. To illustrate, having equality in a community can allow
people
Use synonyms
to have the same benefits and opportunities, which can
consequently
Linking Words
reduce inequity in the community. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
competition
Use synonyms
can help individuals not only to surpass their potential but
also
Linking Words
to emerge breakthroughs and new innovations, it can bring
people
Use synonyms
to become individualists.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I remain firmly convinced that
competition
Use synonyms
with each other should be minimised and done only for special purposes.a
Submitted by karelrenaldi8 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Introduce clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to make your main points even clearer to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your conclusion directly addresses both sides discussed in the essay to improve coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Although your response is comprehensive, ensuring every idea directly links back to the essay prompt would enhance task achievement.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples, such as hackathon competitions, to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion expressing your opinion.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, which helps in conveying your arguments effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
What to do next:
Look at other essays: