Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Opinions differ on whether individuals should compete or cooperate on a daily basis has left many debates.
While
some Linking Words
people
argue that rivalry is a nice idea, I side with those who feel that cooperating with others is more essential.
On the one hand, It could be argued that Use synonyms
competition
encourages positive change in many aspects of Use synonyms
people
’s lives. Use synonyms
Firstly
, it can help them to transcend their capabilities which is probably useful for their success. Linking Words
For instance
, Linking Words
people
who participate in a Use synonyms
competition
usually feel that they can’t be stagnant at the same level which means that it can probably motivate them to do better. Use synonyms
As a result
, it might lead them to have better performance and become highly motivated Linking Words
people
. Use synonyms
Secondly
, the rivalry could potentially invent new breakthroughs and innovations from the positive outcome that comes from the Linking Words
competition
itself. To illustrate, hackathon competitions, one of the most popular competitions in computer science fields, have developed many useful projects for various fields in society, including science, medicine, education, and more. Use synonyms
Thus
, considering participating in a Linking Words
competition
can be a good option.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, I agree with those who feel that collaboration is better than Linking Words
competition
. Use synonyms
Firstly
, collaboration can help to build a harmonious life because it encourages bonding and creates strong relationships with others. By achieving a harmonious life, they can help themself to be less stressed and Linking Words
also
protect their mental health. Linking Words
Furthermore
, collaboration Linking Words
also
can help to reduce inequality in society. To illustrate, having equality in a community can allow Linking Words
people
to have the same benefits and opportunities, which can Use synonyms
consequently
reduce inequity in the community.
In conclusion, Linking Words
while
Linking Words
competition
can help individuals not only to surpass their potential but Use synonyms
also
to emerge breakthroughs and new innovations, it can bring Linking Words
people
to become individualists. Use synonyms
Therefore
, I remain firmly convinced that Linking Words
competition
with each other should be minimised and done only for special purposes.aUse synonyms
Submitted by karelrenaldi8 on
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coherence cohesion
Introduce clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to make your main points even clearer to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your conclusion directly addresses both sides discussed in the essay to improve coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Although your response is comprehensive, ensuring every idea directly links back to the essay prompt would enhance task achievement.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples, such as hackathon competitions, to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion expressing your opinion.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, which helps in conveying your arguments effectively.