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Band 6

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others believe that it is more important to have a permanent job. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #job #satisfaction #security
There
are
Change the verb form
is
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 a list of
employment
 criteria in
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
 culture.
While
 some highlight the importance of
job
satisfaction
, others emphasise the value of
employment
security
 and sustainability.
Nonetheless
, I feel that in terms of
a
Remove the article
apply
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satisfying
employment
, these two perspectives can coexist rather than clash. Certain individuals will always demand
employment
security
.
First,
reality is inevitable, and
steady
Add an article
a steady
show examples
job
 is required to meet our daily needs.
Therefore
, stable
employment
 alleviates financial stress, creating a positive balance between work and leisure that allows us to fully appreciate each day.
Additionally
, a continuous stay in a company makes it easier to receive a promotion. Specifically, extended working durations assist leaders in creating a self-image of reliability and commitment,
as well as
 obtaining additional work experience and forging stronger personal bonds. For those who place a premium on
job
 fulfilment,
however
,
satisfaction
, accomplishments, and the quest
of
Change preposition
for
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 life's meaning are of paramount importance. Those independent artists who live an unpredictable lifestyle,
for example
, strive for their dreams rather than
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 steady income.
In addition
, employees who are satisfied with their jobs tend to be self-motivated and dedicated to their careers.
Nevertheless
, sustaining
job
satisfaction
 does not imply sacrificing
job
security
, or vice versa. In fact, contentment and sustainability criteria can vary from person to person.
For instance
, some individuals find
satisfaction
 in educating others;
therefore
, being a teacher, a very stable vocation, allows them to realise their both goals at the same time. In conclusion, my viewpoint is that
job
satisfaction
 and
job
security
 are equally important
,
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apply
show examples
 and that it is possible to strike a compromise between the two when seeking
employment
.
Submitted by sxueji on

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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines both views and specifies what your opinion will be stated later in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples to back up your points. This will make your argument more robust.
task achievement
The essay thoroughly discusses both views on job satisfaction and job security.
coherence cohesion
Clear, concise language is used throughout the essay, making it easy to follow.
introduction conclusion
The essay's conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a clear stance on the topic.
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