the chart below give information on the number of workers in different occupatons who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012.

the chart below give information on the number of workers in different occupatons who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012.
The bar chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
information related to the number of migrants who chose four dissimilar jobs in Australia from 2009 to 2012. The figures are shown in
thousand
Fix the agreement mistake
thousands
show examples
.
Overall
, it can be seen that there was an upward trend of
workers
in
accountant
Fix the agreement mistake
accountants
show examples
and computer
programmer
Fix the agreement mistake
programmers
show examples
, the opposite was
truth
Replace the word
true
show examples
for
cook
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cooks
show examples
and software
engineer
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engineers
show examples
.
Additionally
, in 2009 witnessed the highest point of
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
in
accountant
Fix the agreement mistake
accountants
show examples
throughout the whole period. Looking at the data closely, accountants explored 20
thousand
workers
in 2009, a figure that
significant
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significantly
show examples
sire to 28
thousand
, making
this
a substantial difference in the following year. After 2 years, it suddenly decreased
about
Change preposition
to about
show examples
7
thousand
workers
.
Furthermore
, there was
an
Change the article
a
show examples
downward trend in
cook
Wrong verb form
cooking
show examples
with
initial
Add an article
an initial
the initial
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amount of 17
thousand
human
labors
Replace the word
labourers
show examples
by 2009 before a
slightly falling
Replace the word
slight fall
show examples
and levelling up at 18
thousand
workers
in both 2010 and 2011,
then
it moderate drop
less
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of less
show examples
than 2 units
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
the end of
timeframe
Add an article
the timeframe
show examples
. Turning to the remaining statistics, software
engineer
Fix the agreement mistake
engineers
show examples
saw a marginal increase during 3 years before having a decline to 17
thousand
workers
.
In contrast
, computer
programmer
Fix the agreement mistake
programmers
show examples
experienced the lowest values of human
labors
Fix the agreement mistake
labor
show examples
compared to all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
occupations
through
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
the entire period, with
initial
Correct article usage
an initial
show examples
figure under 5 units,
then
the values saw a steady rise with over a double in 2012.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words thousand, workers with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

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