IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main-subjects, Others believe it is more important to _give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification, Discuss both these views and give- your own opinion.

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A topic of debate among
students
Use synonyms
 in higher education is that some feel that studying the specialization itself is boring for
students
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 and they should study other
subjects
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 as well,
while
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 others feel that it is for their
field
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. I partially agree with both of them. Nowadays, there is a lot of protest in the higher education system that
students
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 are taught
subjects
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 that do not belong to their
field
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. Some
students
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 believe that only special
subjects
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 are necessary and other
subjects
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 are not necessary. If
students
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 are taught only
subjects
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 relevant to their
field
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, they will have the opportunity to better learn
this
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field
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 and apply their knowledge in
this
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field
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.
Therefore
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, only if more
students
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 are taught
subjects
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 related to their specializations in universities, they can produce
field
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 experts and more useful employees.
On the other hand
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, there is
also
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 a second idea, which says that other
subjects
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 should be taught
together with
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 special
subjects
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. In
this
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 way, the
students
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 will be encouraged to study and research more, to work more on themselves.
This
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 will help them expand their worldview and gain knowledge in other areas.
In addition
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, Exposure to various disciplines fosters critical thinking and problem-solving skills by providing different perspectives. Combining knowledge from different fields can lead to innovative solutions and new ideas. Studying diverse
subjects
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 can enhance personal growth, cultural awareness, and intellectual curiosity.
Therefore
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, studying other
subjects
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together with
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 special
subjects
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 gives
students
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 more opportunities. In conclusion, special
subjects
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 and
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additionally
Change the word
additional
show examples
subjects
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 should be taught equally in universities. Only special
subjects
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 should be studied more deeply than other
subjects
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Try to present a more balanced argument in the introduction by clearly stating that you will explore both viewpoints before giving your opinion. This will make your essay more structured.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to illustrate your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more relatable and convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of ideas. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next one. This will make your essay more coherent and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases more effectively to connect your points and create a more cohesive essay. This will help in enhancing the overall structure.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a solid structure.
task achievement
You have addressed both viewpoints, which shows that you have understood the task requirements fully.
task achievement
There is a good attempt to provide reasoning for both perspectives, which makes your essay informative.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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