IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

You recently ordered something online; when you opened the packet the product was damaged with which you were disappointed

#packet #product
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Dear Customer Service, I am writing to address a concerning issue regarding a recent order I placed on your online platform.
Firstly
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, I acquired a beautiful feast set from Maya Home Decor as a
birthday
Use synonyms
 gift for my sister, a transaction made with excitement and anticipation.
However
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, upon receiving the package and eagerly opening it in preparation for her
birthday
Use synonyms
 celebration, I was dismayed to find that the supper set was damaged. The delicate pieces were cracked and chipped, diminishing the intended joy and surprise of the gift.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 feast set holds great importance as it was meant to be a special and memorable gift for my sister's
birthday
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, symbolizing our bond and shared moments of celebration. Equally, its aesthetic appeal and functional utility were carefully chosen to complement her home and enhance her hosting experiences. Given the unfortunate condition in which the banquet set arrived, I kindly request your immediate assistance in arranging a replacement. I believe
this
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 would not only rectify the situation but
also
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 uphold the reputation of your brand for quality products and customer satisfaction.
Moreover
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, I have attached images clearly depicting the extent of the damage for your reference, and the order number is KX453454, delivered on 24/05/24. Thank you for your attention to
this
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 matter. I eagerly await your prompt response and the replacement of the damaged feast set in time for my sister's
birthday
Use synonyms
. Alternatively, another possibility would be to provide a refund or compensation for the inconvenience caused.
Nevertheless
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, I trust that you will take the necessary steps to address
this
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 issue promptly. Yours sincerely,

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task achievement
Your letter clearly addresses the issue and provides all necessary details, including the order number and date of delivery. However, you might want to explicitly mention your contact information for a faster response from customer service.
coherence cohesion
While your letter is logically structured and easy to follow, minor adjustments in paragraph breaks could enhance clarity. For example, consider breaking the first paragraph into two, separating the introduction from the description of the damaged item.
task achievement
You have provided a clear and comprehensive response, including relevant details like the order number and date of delivery.
coherence cohesion
Your letter has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
You addressed the issue in a polite manner, offering a suggestion for resolution which reflects good task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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