students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rether than society. to what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that
the
Correct article usage
apply
scholarship
for university education Fix the agreement mistake
scholarships
is
not necessary because Correct subject-verb agreement
are
of
Change preposition
apply
the
useless for Correct your spelling
they
society
. From this
writer's perspective, it is essential
thing because of the Add an article
an essential
income
tax
for the individuals and promotion
of the learners.
It can be understood that everyone must pay the Correct article usage
the promotion
income
tax
for the governments
. The students Fix the agreement mistake
government
is
not Change the verb form
are
a
exception, they must pay it in the future when they have their career's Change the article
an
income
. Consequently
, it will contribute a spark of
Change preposition
to
national
budget, those money is the most important part of the capital for the improvement of Add an article
the national
society
's facilities. Take Denmark for example
, people must spend around 37% of their salary for
Change preposition
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
income
tax
and gain a spectacular
Correct the article-noun agreement
spectacular society facilities
a spectacular society facility
society
facilities include
Wrong verb form
including
highchool
Correct your spelling
highschool
high school
scholarship
for Fix the agreement mistake
scholarships
leaners
in all levels of education.
Correct your spelling
learners
Additionally
, the scholarship
can be a sign of promotion from university
or government to the pupils. They will be motivated by it and spend more effort on their studying. Correct article usage
the university
Hence
, that can improve the average band score of the students and lead to the
higher quality of undergraduate. Correct article usage
a
As a result
, the quality of the
future employees in companies can increase and bring about the development of Correct article usage
apply
society
. From prior knowledge, with the increasing
Replace the word
increase
of
Change preposition
in
scholarship
, the GPA of pupils in universities can rise Fix the agreement mistake
scholarships
about
35 to 45%.
In conclusion, Change preposition
by about
scholarship
is a necessary investment because of the income
tax
and the promotion for
studying. Change preposition
of
Therefore
, it should have been more policy to increase the financial aid for the develop
of civilization.Replace the word
development
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task achievement
Ensure that your essay stays focused on addressing whether students should pay the full cost of their own education and why; currently, the reasons provided can be made clearer in relation to this topic—connect your points more explicitly to the argument.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are unclear or slightly awkward, such as ‘the useless for society' and ‘promotion of the learners.’ Aim for precise phrasing and correct any grammatical errors to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Make more explicit connections between your reasons and the overall argument of whether university education benefits society. Ensure that the reader clearly understands why these points support your view.
task achievement
Your use of examples, like the tax system in Denmark, effectively supports your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with both an introduction and conclusion present.
coherence cohesion
You do a good job of supporting your main points with explanations and examples, helping to make your argument more convincing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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