IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Some people think everyone should be a vegtarian , becouse we do not need to eat meat to stay helthy . To waht extent do you agree or disagree

#people #vegtarian #becouse #meat #helthy #waht
In the world have a
lot
 of
vegitarian
Correct your spelling
vegetarian
 individuals
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
unvegtarian
Correct your spelling
vegetarian
 humans ,so that type of
people
Add the comma(s)
, as well as dietolges and doctors,
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as well as
 dietolges and doctors said ,when
people
ear
Correct your spelling
eat
show examples
 healthy
food
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
 they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
longer
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
eat
Correct pronoun usage
who eat
show examples
 a
lot
 of
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
. When
people
 eat a
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
show examples
meat
 it leads to weight gain and obesity
then
 affects the circulatory system and
worst
Correct article usage
the worst
show examples
 case it causes a person to have a short life span Depending on
method
Add an article
the method
show examples
 of cooking
meat
 or
beff
Correct your spelling
beef
 products whether it is . If all
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
food
boiled
Add a missing verb
are boiled
show examples
 or steamed of course it is useful for
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
person
Change noun form
person's
show examples
 body .
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 it is definitely a loss
that is
 fried and cooked in a
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 way. On the other
side
Add a comma
side,
show examples
 population need to
helathy
Correct your spelling
healthy
food
 .
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
kindi
Correct your spelling
kinds
kind
 of
people
crazy
Add a missing verb
are crazy
show examples
 about
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
meat
 and fast
food
 so
jung
Correct your spelling
junk
food
 80
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of it is made from
meat
also
 it is not
helath
Correct your spelling
health
healthy
food
. If
people
 would like
helathy
Correct your spelling
healthy
food
 they eat more and more fruit or
vegetabels
Correct your spelling
vegetables
vegetable
. Nowadays many
people
 eat a
lot
meat
Change preposition
of meat
show examples
Correct your spelling
because
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
meat
 is very yummy and tasty
food
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Your essay touches on relevant arguments for both vegetarianism and meat-eating, which is good. However, make sure your main points are fully developed and supported by specific examples or evidence. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay more effectively by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main point and contributes to your overall argument. This will help in maintaining a logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Try to make a clear introduction that outlines your position and a conclusion that summarizes your key points. This will create a more cohesive essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on your grammar, spelling, and sentence structure to improve clarity. This will make your ideas easier to understand and follow.
task achievement
While you made some good points, be sure to focus on making them clearer and more comprehensive. Avoid repetitive statements and aim for depth in your analysis.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt and have provided reasons for both supporting and opposing vegetarianism. This shows a balanced consideration of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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