IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table describes the changes of people who went for international travel in 1990, 1995, 2000 and 2005. (million).

The table describes the changes of people who went for international travel in 1990, 1995, 2000 and 2005. (million).
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The following table represents the changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 travellers
travelled
Correct pronoun usage
who travelled
show examples
 overseas to five different regions: Africa,
America
Use synonyms
, Asia and the
pacific
Capitalize word
Pacific
show examples
, Europe, and
Use synonyms
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
show examples
east
Capitalize word
East
show examples
, in 1990, 1995, 2000, and 2005,
indicated in
Wrong verb form
indicating
show examples
Use synonyms
million
Fix the agreement mistake
millions
show examples
Use synonyms
Change preposition
of peoples
show examples
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly observed that Europe was
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 popular destination,
whereas
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
show examples
 East was preferred the least.
However
Linking Words
, it is interesting to note that the trend of commuters
travel
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
 internationally was rising throughout the given time frame except
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
states
Capitalize word
States
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 1990, at 280.2
million
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 was the highest number of
Use synonyms
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 among the other four continents, followed by
America
Use synonyms
, Asia, Africa, and
Use synonyms
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
show examples
 East, at 80.5, at 60.2, at 18.2, at 9.8
million
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
, respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, similar trends happened the same in the next decades with the rise of
minimum
Correct article usage
a minimum
show examples
2
Change preposition
of 2
show examples
-6
million
Use synonyms
peopls
Correct your spelling
people
 found in Africa and
Use synonyms
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
show examples
 East. Whilst that of in
America
Use synonyms
 and Asia increased 20-30
million
Use synonyms
 persons, the number of people
travel
Correct pronoun usage
who travel
show examples
 to Europe is roughly 9 times that of the aforementioned area. In regards
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
, in 2000 and in 2005,
America
Use synonyms
 reached its peak in 2000 at 118.2
million
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 before slightly
dropped
Wrong verb form
dropping
show examples
 to 113.2 in the next five years.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the rest of the area skyrocketed to its maximum figures.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words america, middle, million, peoples with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • significant increase
  • international travel
  • popular destinations
  • economic growth
  • technological advancements
  • ease of travel
  • cultural exchange
  • globalization
  • fluctuations
  • trend
  • millions of travelers
  • annual growth rate
What to do next:
Look at other essays: