some people think that certain old buildings are more worth preserving than other ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is a controversial perspective that heat up a debate about whether efforts should be made to protect and preserve certain old
buildings
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more than others. In my opinion,
while
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each has its perks, I would contend that
this
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is ideal to combine both mentioned factors. Without a shadow of a doubt, protecting old
buildings
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is of the essence for people. Unlike common beliefs that every ancient building is out of date and has no
value
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whatsoever, in fact, these great achievements bear enormous
value
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when it comes to architecture.
This
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is because
such
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structures can consist of a long history, which educates people on historical events.
For instance
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,
buildings
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such
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as Hoa Lo Prison Relic or the Temple of Literature, not only bring historical
value
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but
also
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give people a chance to learn about what happened in the past.
Hence
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, it is necessary to maintain old-age constructions.
While
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the redeeming features of protecting old
buildings
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play a paramount role, their counterparts still linger. The explanation for
this
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is that many older
buildings
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require significant amounts of money to restore them to a structurally suitable condition.
While
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there is a myriad of other aspects that the government has to pay for. The improvement of education and
that
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apply
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of
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apply
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health can be cited as two of the most outstanding instances.
Thus
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, some certain old-age
buildings
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are not worthy of preservation. In conclusion, certain structures act as living testaments to the country’s antiquity.
Therefore
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, constructions should be selected that have inherent
value
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and they should be maintained by governments.

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task achievement
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which is excellent. However, your main ideas could be more fully developed with additional examples and explanations. Try to expand on your points to give a deeper insight.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is mostly cohesive, there are a few areas where the ideas do not flow as smoothly as they could. Use more linking phrases to improve the overall coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
There are a few instances where your word choice or syntax could be improved for clarity. For example, 'heat up a debate about' could be revised to 'spark a debate about.'
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets up the topic and presents your perspective clearly.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your position and main points, rounding off the essay well.
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