some people think that certain old buildings are more worth preserving than other ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a controversial perspective that heat up a debate about whether efforts should be made to protect and preserve certain old
buildings
more than others. In my opinion,
while
each has its perks, I would contend that
this
is ideal to combine both mentioned factors. Without a shadow of a doubt, protecting old
buildings
is of the essence for people. Unlike common beliefs that every ancient building is out of date and has no
value
whatsoever, in fact, these great achievements bear enormous
value
when it comes to architecture.
This
is because
such
structures can consist of a long history, which educates people on historical events.
For instance
,
buildings
such
as Hoa Lo Prison Relic or the Temple of Literature, not only bring historical
value
but
also
give people a chance to learn about what happened in the past.
Hence
, it is necessary to maintain old-age constructions.
While
the redeeming features of protecting old
buildings
play a paramount role, their counterparts still linger. The explanation for
this
is that many older
buildings
require significant amounts of money to restore them to a structurally suitable condition.
While
there is a myriad of other aspects that the government has to pay for. The improvement of education and
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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of
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health can be cited as two of the most outstanding instances.
Thus
, some certain old-age
buildings
are not worthy of preservation. In conclusion, certain structures act as living testaments to the country’s antiquity.
Therefore
, constructions should be selected that have inherent
value
and they should be maintained by governments.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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task achievement
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which is excellent. However, your main ideas could be more fully developed with additional examples and explanations. Try to expand on your points to give a deeper insight.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is mostly cohesive, there are a few areas where the ideas do not flow as smoothly as they could. Use more linking phrases to improve the overall coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
There are a few instances where your word choice or syntax could be improved for clarity. For example, 'heat up a debate about' could be revised to 'spark a debate about.'
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets up the topic and presents your perspective clearly.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your position and main points, rounding off the essay well.
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