IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

More and more people are buying things on the internet like air tickets, books and groceries making online shopping more popular with every passing day. Does the advantages of such shopping outweighs the disadvantages?

#people #internet #air #tickets #books #groceries
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Plenty of
people
 change their own method of payment and purchase to buy something through online websites. It has its advantages and disadvantages. In my view,
this
 statement has more positive income than negative and the essay will examine both sides of the issue. One of the main advantages of shopping online is the ease of using apps on own devices rather than going to a shopping centre and spending more
time
 inside.
Secondly
,
people
 care about their own
time
 and some prefer to reduce it to a minimum.
For example
, when a person wants to buy things
such
 as tickets or clothes, everything they need to do, just open a smartphone app find exactly what type of purchase they want and pay online without physical participation.
As a result
, online shopping is becoming popular
due to
 the decrease in
time
 spent in stores and
therefore
people
 can plan their free
time
.
However
, online browsing
also
 has some disadvantages. One of the main drawbacks is scams and lack of quality of purchases.
Firstly
, scammers get scammed
people
 by selling something that does not exist or stealing cards and private information.
Secondly
,
people
 may receive a low-quality product.
For instance
, when sellers send a purchase through the post office they can not guarantee that the product arrives undamaged.
Therefore
, need to carefully monitor where to place orders and trust only trusted suppliers. In conclusion,
while
 online shopping has certain benefits
such
 as a reduction of
time
, it
also
 has significant shortages, like scams and trust websites. Individuals need to weigh these carefully before making a decision.
Submitted by vladislavikonnikov112 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
In the introduction, clearly state whether you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or vice versa.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures for better clarity and to avoid repetition.
task achievement
Address counter-arguments more fully to enhance the balance of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear structure with an introduction, main body, and conclusion.
task achievement
Relevant examples are provided to illustrate the points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: