IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

You work for an international company. You want to attend special family celebration during working hours. You need to take time off work for this. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: Give details of family celebration. Tell your manager how much time time off work you need. Suggest how work can be done while you attend the celebration.

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Dear Patrick, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to inform you that I will need some
time
Use synonyms
 off
due to
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 my brother's wedding. I have the responsibility of making all the arrangements for the wedding party and sending out invitations to all the guests.
Therefore
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, I have no choice but to attend the function. My brother's wedding is scheduled for the 23rd of June. I will require
time
Use synonyms
 to manage all the details and ensure that all the guests are invited. For that reason, I will need
time
Use synonyms
 off from the 10th of June to the 23rd of June. I understand that managing work in my absence will be challenging, but I will ensure that I provide all the necessary training to the new staff to help minimize any complications during my vacation. Your understanding and support in
this
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 matter would be greatly appreciated. I hope you can understand the significance of
this
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 family celebration to me and grant me the
time
Use synonyms
 off work. I assure you that I will do my best to ensure that my absence does not disrupt the team's work. Thank you for considering my request. I look forward to your response. Yours sincerely, Arthur

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task achievement
To strengthen your task response, you could consider giving more specifics about how your responsibilities will be managed in your absence. For instance, mention any delegations or specific plans you have in place.
coherence cohesion
Although your letter is coherent and logically structured, using linking words or phrases can further connect your paragraphs and ideas. Phrases like 'Furthermore', 'In addition', and 'However' can help.
greeting and closing
Your greeting and closing are polite and appropriately formal, which is suitable for a letter to a manager.
single idea per paragraph
The letter is well-organized with each paragraph focusing on a single idea, enhancing readability.
suitable writing tone
Your tone is professional and respectful, which is very fitting for a letter of this nature.
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